Twist on an old Classic

Like snowball fights?

Wish they weren't so... clean?

Try... MUDBALL FIGHTS!

Tuesday's Walk

I saw some birds... no clue what kind. Not a bird expert. Sorry for the crappy angle, but the little bastards wouldn't turn around. I sat there for like two minutes, and apparently they just didn't want to look at me, and I didn't have my rubber boots on, so walking around to the other side of the ditch/pond was not an option. I actually saw tons of birds (this being the edge of a wildlife preserve and all), but most of 'em were in flight and very hard to photograph.

Two of the passengers on this pair of 4-wheelers (NO ONE here obeys the no-passenger recommendation on 4-wheelers... they're not recreation; they're transportation) were students of mine, and screamed "HI SARA! HI SARA! HI SARA!" as they zoomed past (at a child-safe speed). Those are not rocks in the water... that's dirty sea ice.



I saw green plant life! Moss, to be exact. And here I was thinking I'd leave on Saturday having seen no non-dormant plant life. Whee!



The mighty, towering trees of Quinhagak!

Science, Put to Use

Make that a rum and DIET Coke, please.

Please drink responsibly.

Midnight Sun(set)

Crappy picture... it's windy out and I just wanted to get it over and done with.

But yup. Midnight. Or just after it, according to my computer clock. Or just before it, according to my camera clock.

Huzzah for sunlight!

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

1. Lookie our new trench. Runs right by my (soon to be former) home.

2. Lookie our new snow.

Now, it was only about an inch of snow, and it's already being beaten down by some rain, but COME ON.

I'm about done with snow.

You know what sucks? I'm gonna get down to Wisconsin just in time for that crappy hot-and-humid action I so despise. I'm gonna COMPLETELY miss out on any semblance of spring as I know (and love) it. Snow to stifling heat... odds are that's what I get. But alas, I shall soldier on...

You know what? Packing SUCKS.

I'm Screwed

Airport authorities to look for signs of stress, bulky clothing

Seriously. I am ALWAYS stressed out when traveling beyond Bethel. 75% of the time I'm near tears. Traveling just frazzles me. They SAY the officials can differentiate between stressed travelers and those with something to hide, but still...

And they're going to look for people wearing bulky coats when it's warm out? FanTAStic. I arrived in and departed from Maui wearing/carrying a very inappropriately bulky down parka. Why? Not because I'm carrying a bomb... BECAUSE I LIVE IN ALASKA AND IT WAS DECEMBER.

Seriously, if these idiots detain me for being characteristically stressed out in my down parka and I end up being late for a flight... ah, who am I kidding? I'd probably just "yes sir" and "no sir" like a good little sheep and end up more stressed out and sweating in my unnecessary down parka.

Because I am, for all my online blowharding, a good little sheep.

Sick

Was sick. Vomiting sick.

Now recovering. Discovering that when sick, don't do dishes. Washing dishes.

Have also apparently lost ability to put subjects into my sentences.

8/23/1995 - 5/13/2006

Carl Abalama.

Evil grinner, fierce dodgeball competitor and all-around good kid.

I guess there's not much to say. I had him for an hour (or half-hour) a day for the past two school years. He always had something to say, and would have much preferred spending the entire hour telling me stories.

It's just... unreal.

Question for the Non-Nailbiters

So, I managed to quit biting my nails. I'm sure I'll start up again soon, as I always do, but for now, I have fingernails.

But I have a question for the long-term nail growers. I've been a nail biter since at least the age of 8, so I really just have no experience.

How the hell do you keep them looking clean? I mean, is this some sort of ongoing process? Seriously, I start out my day, after my shower, with nice, clean fingernails. By the end of the day, they've got stuff under 'em. Heck, by LUNCH, they're dirty. What the hell? Why does anyone even have nails if they're this much effort?

Seriously, if cleaning my nails is going to become just another useless task in my life, I'm just going to go back to biting them. If, unlike the rest of my body, they cannot be kept clean by a daily shower, they are not worth the effort. Just. Not. Worth. It.

So Basically

Stuff kinda sucks right now.

One of my students passed away. Hunting accident. 4th grader. First day of summer vacation.

I mean, come on. That's just not fair. I know, I know, life's not fair. That's where you take pigs and horses in the summer.

I guess it hasn't sunk in all the way yet. I'm still pretty... detached, all things considered.

5/13/06

Sad, sad day.

More later.

Cue the Music

Everyone under the age of 18 (with the exception of a few teachers' kids) has left the building.

Teachers have to come back tomorrow.

Then we're done.

Upon completion of tomorrow's work day, I'm planning on remaining in my PJs for 24 solid hours before I contemplate my next move, which will likely involve fishing.

Sometimes

Sometimes someone makes an inappropriate comment.

Maybe something racially slanderous. Not just "non-PC and honest and edgy," but downright rude.

And sometimes they say it to you in that "Hey, we're both white folks and we're the only ones in the room," tone of voice.

And sometimes maybe you stand there dumbfounded, not sure quite how to reply to this person who is, after all, a professional colleague.

And sometimes, afterwards, you think of the perfect comeback, and lament your slack-jawed gaping. And you (and by you, of course, I mean I) just keep hoping they say something again, because you have an intelligent, witty, and totally snappy comeback all saved up, and no moment of assholitude upon which to release it.

But you still wish you'd thought of it earlier.

Saturdays are School Days

OK, just today.

We missed a day a while back due to sketchy gas smell permeating the building, so today we're having our make-up day.

It's kinda nice... the high school is putting on a carnival for the little kids. I'd rather be at home sleeping, though.

Squeaks

I've written about him before.

He points out "the dick" on Curious George, he asks about tomboys and Presidents' Day and what not. He's a smart kid. We'll call him Squeaks because of his unique voice.

The other day, I was walking home, enjoying the fact that spring seems to have finally sprung. I see him in front of me, idly swinging and tossing an unknown object up into the air and catching it. It looked like these cool new football thingies the school got for Physical Education that are inside a sac with a long handle so you can just toss 'em around. I thought perhaps he had confiscated one for his own personal use.

"Squeaks, what are you tossing around?" I inquired innocently.

"Um, I'm just playing," he replied, hiding the item behind his back.

"Squeaks, what is that?"

"Um... it's a... um... I'm going over to MD's house to play." A skilled deflector he is not.

"WHAT IS IT?"

"Um... it's a... dead bird."

Ew.

I got a peek at aforementioned dead bird. This wasn't a freshly-killed specimen. My guess it was killed last fall, but never got claimed by its killer, and it sat frozen all winter, to be exposed by the spring thaw.

Then today, he says to me (and his entire class), "Sara! I know how to spell a bad word. F-U..."

I screamed, "NO!"

Cannot... Resist...

Must... post... dog... pics.

Of course, if a certain fiancee would provide me with more pictures, I'd have a better alternative. But... I like this picture, so it OK.

And yes, at some point, I will stop posting dog pics. But don't hold your breath... it might take me a while to run out of steam. I'm kinda infatuated at the moment. Worry not, I'll be getting my camera back from the high school journalism class soon, so I'll be inundating you with spring tundra pics. Maybe the main road will wash out again, like it did last year. That was totally fun and photo-worthy.

But back to my (OK, our) dog. He really couldn't be a whole lot cuter if he tried. I mean, sure... he could. But it would be difficult. Highly effortful.

I'm one of those obnoxious pet owners, aren't I?

Wait, don't answer that.

Nah, go ahead. I'm OK with it.

Go, Granny, Go

Still pimpin' after all these years.

Wow. Just... wow. I hope when I'm 104, I'm still able to pull in 30-something men.

And on a side note... 21 husbands? Is she some kind of geriatric Black Widow?

Introductions

Loki, meet everyone.

Everyone, meet Loki.

All acquainted? GOOD!

Seriously... I'm so very pumped to have a dog. I've wanted one for a while, but am glad I waited.

Now I just have to get back to Wisconsin so I can actually MEET him face-to-muzzle... but I'll take Shaun's word that he's cool. And... we're gonna love him a LOT, so that makes him a cool dog already.

Yay for dog!

Whoda Tunkit?

The internet doesn't know everything.

I've been into baking bread this year... or at least I've been TRYING to be into baking bread.

I've scoured the internet for a good wheat/white bread... and it's always come up missing something. Or they required things I don't have... online recipe-posters seem to have a thing for "let's see how cool and pretentious I can make my recipe!"

I found a wonderful recipe today. Guess where? ON THE SIDE OF THE WHEAT FLOUR BAG.

Simple. Yeast, water, sugar (a tiny bit), whole wheat flour, white flour, salt, tiny bit of olive oil. It's not rocket science, apparently. It's baking. My well-founded phobia is cured.

I'm eating it now. Wait, make that past tense. I just ate two slices. Have now moved on to trying to refrain from consuming a third.

I had a rough day. I deserve another slice... don't I?

*backing away from the bread*

*going to sleep*

And on a completely different topic: TGIF, motherf@#%ers.

Well I'll be Damned

Birth control for men may be on its way.

Think American men will ever be man enough to use it?

Political Side Note

I am, for the first time in my life, going to write my legislators and the president regarding this legislation:

Native American Languages Preservation Act of 2006 (Introduced in House)

Basically, it would support the creation and maintenance of Native Language programs in public schools. I happen to think that's a good thing.

Look at This

This afternoon, Shaun went to visit what will be...

*drumroll*

Our new dog!

Meet Loki (or that'll be his name once he's officially "ours"). Chocolate Lab.

Cutie, huh?

We think so.

But it's Just the Flu!

I recently read a book called The Great Influenza: The Epic Story of the Deadliest Plague in History, an account of the 1918 "Spanish Flu" (although it was probably American in origin, not Spanish) pandemic. The book itself was kind of a let-down... I was hoping for more of an on-the-ground description of what society went though, and it focused more on the "major players," that is, the scientists and other important folks who played a part. I don't remember any of their names and quite frankly did not care which one was a social outcast, which one blah blah blah... So, not what I was looking for, but all in all, pretty interesting.

(Side note: Why can't I read junk fiction like a normal twenty-something?)

Essentially, though, I came away with one thing: AN INCREDIBLE FEAR OF THE FLU.

Seriously, that's some scary shit.

Especially when you live in a place voted least likely to have access to Tamiflu (well, OK, so there wasn't a vote...).

Especially when the current strain is nicknamed "Bird Flu" for a damn good reason and you live on the edge of a wildlife refuge seasonally housing a gazillion migratory birds, and Asia ain't that far away, as the crow... er... duck flies.

Especially when you are a fairly healthy 20-something... a member of the group most likely to be killed by these strains of the flu since they essentially turn your very responsive immune system on hyperdrive and your body's response kills you.

Especially when your housemate has been vomiting for three days and you have a mild headache.

How do you spell "hypochondria?" How about "paranoia?" Or "illegal Mexican pharmacy?" Because according to a recent study, there ain't anywhere near enough antivirals in the US to deal with a serious influenza pandemic.

Ooooooh

I might have some fun news to share in a while.

Stay tuned, folks.

ETA: No, Sara R., I'm not preggers.

Congratulations, Catholic Church

Only a quarter of a century behind.

Cardinal: Condoms are 'Lesser Evil' vs AIDS

Of course, you still can't use one to prevent pregnancy. That would be just WRONG. What our planet totally needs is more babies.

It Happens

Shit, that is. The accumulation thereof.

No, this it not another honey bucket post.

I'm packing. For the first time in my life, I do NOT want to be pulling an all-nighter, finishing up my last-minute packing.

I've found that the list of "crap I own" has grown. My book collection, it seems, has been mating and reproducing in the night. My yarn has been having an all-out orgy.

I like to think I'm not a superficial, consumerist, I-am-what-I-own kind of person, but the boxes I'm accumulating speak for themselves...

RE: The Whole Duke LaCrosse Team Rape Thing

I won't comment on the case. I just want to clarify one thing.

LaCrosse is still a collegiate sport? LaCrosse is still a sport, at all? LaCrosse is anything more than a mid-sized college city in western Wisconsin?

I thought it had gone the way of Field Hockey: relegated to elementary school P.E. class and bad movies about unrealistic high school experiences (*cough*American Pie*cough*). Imagine my shock to find that it's still played by grown-ups (or by college students who are... well... legally grown-ups, anyway).

Learn somethin' new every day. In my 26 years of life experience encompassing three states, two universities, and many, many cases of beer, I have yet to meet a single person who plays LaCrosse... unless I've met some closet LaCrosse player who won't admit their true LaCrosse-playing nature. Apparently, however, there are at least enough players to field at least one team at Duke University, because they're in big, big trouble. Whoda thunk it?

Confused, so Confused

It's windy. It's cloudy. It's 17 degrees. It's also light until 10:30pm.

My body is so very confused.

Many of the migratory birds have returned from their more southerly wintering locations. Ptarmigan hunting has begun. Spring activities are happening.

And yet I don my winter coat every morning. And yet I have to warm up my 4-wheeler for the drive into work. And yet I wear boots... not puddle-splashing rubber boots, mind you... winter boots.

It would be so much more bearable if the sun would not taunt us so. "Look," it says, "I am shining excessively! I radiate warmth from 7am until 10:00 pm! I mess up your sleep schedule! And still you sit indoors! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I received three books from powells.com today. I have already finished one. Now, in my bill-paying adulthood, I understand why my mother complained about buying me Babysitters Club books when I was in fifth grade. Mom, you were right... buying a book that I'm just going to read in one night IS a waste of money. Not that it'll stop me. Everyone has their little addictions. But dammit, it's April 18th. I should be outside.

Apparently this is how the weather always used to be... but it hasn't been "normal" like this in quite a few years. So... yay?

Thanks for the Reminder

I just realized (with the help of a certain former Roomie who is visiting, and now stuck for the evening) that I never made my "announcement."

ANNOUNCEMENT: I am moving to a different village next year.

*End of Announcement*

Visitors

A friend (former coworker) visited last night. More are coming today. Whee!

Last year, I was perpetually asked if I was said visitor's sister. "No," I would reply, but the rumors persisted. We're both tall and white... we MUST be related!

Anyway, she's visiting. She came to school today.

The students mostly recognize her. A few, who never had her as a teacher, RECOGNIZE her but can't place her.

So they ask her, "Are you Sara's sister?"

But Really

It can stop snowing any day now.

I asked our kindergarten teacher when she thought it'd stop snowing. She responded, "When it's ready."

It did not give me hope.

Sometimes You Wanna Help

Location: My classroom.

Event: State Standardized Test

Question: Can't put it online, but the second part was "How do you know that is true?"

Student's answer, written in Big Scary Official Test Book That Goes to State People for Scoring: "I know because I'm smart."

*sigh*

It's a Necessity

Patience is a good thing in a teacher. It's a requirement, actually.

I have NO patience today. The moment I walked in the door, students started annoying me. I don't have the capability, it would seem, to respectfully but firmly correct their behavior. I have to work very, very hard to control my face lest I inadvertently shoot daggers with my eyes directly into the skulls of unforunate runners-in-the-hall.

Oh, and I got my standardized "Am I Smart Enough to be a Teacher?" test results today. Turns out, I am capable enough at bubble-filling to continue in the education field. I am capable enough at bubble-filling to get an idiotic "Certificate of Excellence" for placing in the top whatever percentage of test-takers... as if that somehow makes me a better teacher. Funny thing is... due to the inane complexities of the "Highly Qualified" system under No Child Left Behind, I had to take a test in an area (Elementary Education) outside my area of licensure/training (English as a Second Language). So... I passed a test that doesn't relate ONE TINY BIT to what I was trained to teach.

Somehow that makes me "Highly Qualified" as a K-8 classroom teacher, despite the fact that I do not hold a teaching license for a K-8 classroom. Now THAT was a good use of my money and time.

Note: I apologize for my horrific mood. Hopefully tomorrow I will be back to spouting sunshine and rainbows out of my arse as per usual.

Bring It!

Let's play trivia, Fast Eddie...

I Have Weird Friends

It's OK, though, because I too am weird.

They send me links like this.

If you find Silence of the Lambs icky, please don't clicky.

Do You Like Electricity?

Either we're behind the times up here, or ahead of them.

Rising fuel costs lead to power rationing in villages

Hope this isn't a warning of things to come elsewhere.

Standardized Testing

Standardized testing makes me want beer.

Not after school, to unwind. Right now.

I'm testing eight third graders, five of whom do not read or write in English. The task of to keep them on task for a 66-question test involving the reading of long passages is enough to drive one to drink.

Arg

Daylight Savings Time is a load of crap.

It now officially gets dark at 10pm. The abruptness was too much for my body to handle, and I was awake until 1am last night.

Is it naptime yet?

Gosh, I'm Boring

The following are the options on an Arizona fingerprint clearance card I have to fill out for my K-8 teaching license program:

• Bald
• Black
• Blonde
• Brown
• Gray
• Orange
• Pink
• Purple
• Red or Auburn
• Sandy
• White

I mean, I know they're going for total accuracy, but what if my hair is best classified as "aquamarine?" Or "chartreuse?" What about "baby-poop green?" The ever-popular multicolor look... "burnt sienna with rose highlights?"

How boring did I feel, checking the "brown" box.

*Looks around for some Kool-Aid with which to dye hair to make fingerprint application process more exciting*

Alaska Sunset

Sunset pictures as promised/threatened yesterday. Not the greatest composition, but cut me some slack. I'm an amateur at best... and sunset pics are HARD!

Taken at the old airport, standing in the middle of what used to be the runway (this, I realize, means nothing to those of you who have never been to Quinhagak).

Also at the old airport, post-sunset. The flatness of the tundra makes for some fun sunsets. The sun here rises over the mountains... one of these days I'll grab a few shots of that. Perhaps this weekend... I'll ride out towards the NEW airport early in the morning and play photographer wanna-be.

Picture Day

I have been far too chatty lately. All talk.

This evening, I took a walk. I also took 48 pictures. Don't worry, I will not subject you to 48 pictures. Just a few. Have at 'em:

Very boring, stupid picture of the back of the washeteria. However, witness the water in liquid, puddle-based form. Outside. This indicates warm temperatures.

I just kinda like this picture. Call me morbid, if you must.

Just sittin' on a truck, that's all. Just sittin'.

Thanks for indulging me. Tomorrow, just so you're aware, I plan on subjecting you to poorly-taken sunset pics. I know, you can't wait.

Sprung

Sprung, it has. Spring, that is.

Since 8am yesterday, when my thermometer read a balmy, sweaty, scorching zero, our little part of Southwest Alaska has, to a collective sigh of relief from its residents, begun to thaw. 40 degrees, still, at 7pm. Aah.

Maybe it's just a mental trick, but the sky LOOKS warmer. Clear, cloudless blue, just like it was on the coldest day of winter... but different. Bluer. Less icy. Not sending shivers down my spine at the sight of it. But, like I said, it's probably just a mental trick. I'm sure if you showed me a picture of one and a picture of the other, I couldn't tell the difference.

It doesn't smell like spring... or at least not like spring back home. Spring here smells different, I guess. But the air is charged just the same. Everyone's ready for the weather to change. Kids were "monkeybarring" with no coats on. People have already brought back ptarmigan for plucking and eating.

I'm sure we'll get another cold snap or two before spring springs for real. But for now, I'm going to head outside, enjoy the fact that the sun is still shining happily at 7pm.

Mad Props

Just like to give a big "Way to go" to my cousin David's Wichita State basketball team. They were defeated by George Mason (who went on to upset U Conn) in the Sweet 16... but seriously... WAY COOL.

Pizza and a Jaw Injury, or Wacky Good Fun

This past weekend, I traveled north and west to the village of Nunapitchuk, AK to visit some friends (Former Roomie being one of them). Wacky good fun.

Upon my arrival, the wacky good fun ensued. Well, OK, actually, it didn't, at least not right away. I went to my friends' school and hung out while they completed their report cards and prepared for parent-teacher conferences. Pretty much what I would have been doing at home, although not really.

(I'm leaving out part of the story here to be re-told at a future date)

After the work day ended (two hours, of course, after the official "work day" ended, because... well... we're just like that), the wacky good fun continued at a birthday feast for a young child.

And was that enough wacky good fun for one day? No, no it wasn't. Not by a long shot. For next, we hopped on a snowmachine and rode to Kasigluk-Akula to watch a wee bit of the Native Youth Olympics (NYO) competition being held there.

Returned home to friends' house, slept like the dead.

Awoke and entertained myself at Friends' house for a while. Went and loitered at the school while Friends parent-teacher-conferenced. Ate bacon cheeseburger. Wacky good fun, indeed.

(part of story again edited out to be told later)

Friend from Kasigluk-Akiuk arrived. Sledding outing ensued. On a given run down sled hill, bumped heads with a child. Aforementioned child hopped up, said "Ow," and ran back up the hill. I, on the other hand, was left with a jaw that didn't want to open or close all the way. For the rest of the evening, yawning and chewing were quite painful. Wondered if perhaps I ought to go to the doctor. Wacky good fun was slightly tempered by vague possibility of having jaw wired shut.

Made pizza. Actually, munched on toppings while others made pizza. Ate pizza. Again, wacky good fun, but made slightly less wacky, good, and fun by jaw pain.

Went to sleep.

Awoke. Jaw pain still present, but much less pronounced. Now felt like teeth were able to fit together all the way rather than being a little "off" due to jaw oddities, decided not to go to doctor.

Got ride to Bethel on snowmachine driven by Former Roomie. Wacky good fun, once again, although the trail was a bit rough from all the blowing... A smooth trail would have made it wackier, gooder, and funner. Got to drive for a while, but my perpetual lack of circulation to my extremeties (read: very cold hands and feet all the damn time) commanded that I relinquish driving duties after a few miles.

Waited at the airport for 3 1/2 hours... but it wasn't weather-related for once. Decidedly neither wacky, good, nor fun, but there WAS a cute baby to look at.

Returned home, tired, but unable to sleep.

And so I type.

If I Don't Say No, is it a Yes?

So... apparently I'm my school's union representative.

I have no clue how this happened.

Well, OK, I have a clue.

See, of a teaching staff of 15, only two of us are union members. In most districts, union membership is required... and that's exactly why I opted for union membership. I'm one to bitch a lot if forced to do something, but I'm generally pretty good at volunteering for stuff. Other Union Teacher (OUT because intials are fun) is a veteran staff with a lot on his plate; I am a second-year teacher only one inch further from drowning than I was last year.

So there are two of us. Most sites have a lot higher membership, but we don't. Every site is supposed to have a "site rep," but we don't. OUT was somehow "picked" as our site rep, even though he neither volunteered nor fell victim to nomination. He started getting e-mails and such. He e-mailed them back, telling them in no fond terms that he was NOT our site rep.

So... they started sending me the e-mails.

I haven't had the guts or the need to correct them. I can be more than a little anti-confrontational.

I just hope they don't ask me to, you know, do anything.

English of the Village

“Get me.”

Click.

That was it. Two words made up one end of an entire conversation. A student wanted a parent to come pick her up at school. I had to guess at what the other end of the conversation sounded like:

Ring, Ring

“Hello?”

“Get me.”

“OK.”

Click.

It’s not Shakespeare. It’s Village English. It’s beautiful. It’s quirky and clipped and utilitarian. Allow me a hypothetical “standard” English (Wisconsin) version of the same conversation with my maternal parental unit:

Ring, Ring

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mom, it’s Sara.”

“Hey honey.”

“Um, could you come pick me up from school? It’s freezing out and I don’t want to have to walk.”

“Sure, no problem. Be waiting outside the front doors like usual.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem. See you in a bit.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

Click.

If you think about it, there’s so much unnecessary information in that conversation. Of course my mother knew it was me… or at least that it was one of her daughters, since we all sound the same. And, duh, I’m at school. If I’m not at school, I’m in trouble, and why would I be calling her to pick me up from wherever I went when I skipped school? And, duh, it’s cold and that’s why I don’t want to walk. And if she always picks me up in the same place, then why clarify? So, really, the “nonstandard” dialect in this case is much more user-friendly. Not that it'll change the way I talk.

Language is fun.

I am a nerd.

Stream of Consciousness

Shaun is gone (Hey! Rhyme!). I put him on a plane this morning. Actually, I put him in a van to go to the plane. Actually, he put himself in the van, I just smooched him good-bye (sorry, Mom and Dad, I really did smooch him).

He left a ring on my finger.

Which is very, very cool.

He took some fun pics on his camera; maybe he'll be nice and share. 1 3/4 years and I've already forgotten what's photographable for someone who's never been here.

Wow only 1/4 of a school year left. WACKY. My second year has flown by. I can hardly believe it's almost April.

Of course, the below-zero temperatures make it HARD to believe it's almost April.

And I want a beer.

Thank you and have a goood day.

Cloudy and Wordy

Saw this here, like it, using it.

Word Cloud

DUDE

My "little" cousin David is in the Sweet 16!

He plays for Wichita State.

They knocked off TENNESSEE. They get to play George Mason, who knocked off NORTH CAROLINA.

Whee!

Shaun is here.

And he's cooking .

Life is good.

Unfair

I woke up with a hangover this morning.

One problem: I didn't drink last night. I haven't consumed an alcoholic beverage since New Years Eve, as a matter of fact.

If I'm gonna have a headache in the morning, I should have a fun evening to blame it on. But nooooooooo, I'm a good little teacher-in-a-dry-village... I don't touch alcohol while I'm here. Know what I did last night? Dishes.

I have a dish-washing hangover. That is just wrong.

Just a Number

What is the temperature in Quinhagak, Alaska?

According to my FireFox weather thingymabob, it's 16 degrees. It's measuring temperatures 50 miles away and inland.

According to the National Weather Service, it's NULL. They don't measure current conditions here.

According to my thermometer, it's 55 degrees. It's measuring conditions on the sunny side of a metal wall.

Accurding to me, it's all a bunch of bull so I'm going to stop caring what little machines say.

I'd estimate the actual temperature to be around 35 degrees. It's sure not 55, and it's sure not 16, and it's sure not NULL. My neighbor with the really cool thermometer weather station is out of town, otherwise I'd ask him.

Picture, Take II

FINALLY!

Three hours, umpteen tries, and one e-mail to Blogger support later, I can post a picture.

It's not even that great of a picture, really. I mean, the snowfort is cool by kid standards, but worth all that hassle to document for posterity? Hellz no.

And, to be perfectly honestly, Blogger support didn't even get a chance to help. It just sort of magically fixed itself, like in junior high when I would ask a parent for homework help, only to figure it out on my own the SECOND they arrived at my side.

Oh, well. There you have it. A picture. A picture of a snowfort, a shed, the end of a house behind the shed, two dogs, and another house in the background. The dogs were being cuter just before I shot this pic. Ah, hell, who am I kidding? They pretty scruffy dogs.

Bah.

Fortress of Snowitude, or Not

You know what? There's supposed to be a photo, right HERE, of a snow fort made by my junior high-aged neighbor. But Blogger.com is a fantastic piece of crap and denied my picture-uploading efforts. So... imagine a snow fort. It's cool, and stuff.

I apologize for the pitiful lack of photographic love around these parts as of late. My camera has been on loan to one of our high school teachers for use in his journalism class. I could reclaim it every day, then return it the next morning, but it's just far less effort to leave it where it is.

Besides, the journalism class's newspaper entertains me. And while pictures may entertain YOU, dear reader, I am a selfish person. Where else can I find out what the giant pole over by the fish plant is for (measuring wind to see if it'd be adequate for a windmill or two or three),

Drugs are Baaaaaaaaaaaaaad

Caffeine is a drug.

A strong one.

Anyone who says otherwise is full of poo.

I had too much coffee and too little food today.

Feelin' kinda twitchy.

A PSA for my Bush Teacher Homies

Yes, homies. I just said homies. I am white and I live in Alaska, and I said homies.

Anyway, bush teachers love bulk ordering. If we can buy it by the case, chances are we will. You wouldn't believe all the stuff you can buy by the case. Canned goods, feminine products, you name it. If it's non-perishable, chances are you can buy it in bulk.

So, bush teachers and other people who like whole foods but live far from the nearest co-op or grocery store with those cool bins that you can scoop food out of into bags, if you're looking for grains, nuts, etc, check out: bulkfoods.com. I got quinoa, popcorn, wasabi peas (I had to restrain myself from eating them while putting them away over my lunch hour), nutritional yeast (great for making stuff taste cheese-y without the added gastro-intestinal distress), and whole red peppers that I will string for a functional AND decorative addition to my kitchen. I started out with the small size (1 lb is the smallest size for most of their stuff) for almost everything, but will probably order "bigger" next time, now that I've gotten a feel for sizing. Shipping was pricey (but when is it not?), but I'll be able to eat a lot healthier and much cheaper now!

Too Cool

Those of you who know me also know that I spend WAY to much money on Amazon.com and Powells.com.

I'm a fast reader, what can I say?

So rather than spending a bunch of money on stuff I'll only read once, I've enrolled in this. It's like a local library for people in Alaska without local libraries. Basically, you fill out a "general preferences" form, and they send you books and movies they think you'll be interested in. You can also request specific books.

Should save me money on books, in any case. I don't need to be buying books new just to find out I don't like a specific author.

Whee!

Behavior Management

Not that I'm an advocate of corporal punishment in schools, but really, is throwing a student into a snowbank REALLY such a HORRIBLE form of discipline?

Not that I've done it.

Outside my imaginary funworld, anyway.

You Did a What?

Iditarod. Added to the expansive, ever-growing list of things I will never, ever do, no matter how indescribably cool and badass they seem.

Decidedly Non-Tin Can Non-Gourmet

What I had for dinner tonight (and yeah, no protein, I know... meat involves effort and I was thrashed after a long day... although I caught some trout a while ago and they're just meditating, trout-like, in my freezer):

Salad: Baby spinach, tomato, avocado, freshly grated parmesan cheese, homemade vinagrette that came out a lot better than I expected

Sugar-Free "Dessert": Yogurt with... wait for it... cranberries. Can't help it. They're all I have left from this fall's berry-picking extravaganza, and walking/4-wheeling it to the store to buy FROZEN fruit when it was -10 degrees just seemed kind of... well... not what I needed to be doing. Better than I expected once I mooshed up the cranberries to spread out the tartness and turn it an unholy shade of pink.

Glass of soymilk.

Oh, who am I kidding, another glass of soymilk. Stuff's addicitive.

Maybe a little more yogurt.

Some cottage cheese.

A little more salad, sans avocado and tomato, since I had already washed the knife and put the veggies away.

OK, some more soy milk. If you insist.

All told, dinner lasted like three hours of casual picking. Can you tell I did a massive grocery spree last weekend in Bethel? I did a lot of walking today... I think it kick-started my appetite.

All Hail Potter

My Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire DVD found its way to my PO box today. Now, I'm a Harry Potter fan, but I apparently have NOTHING on my students, most of whom haven't read any of the books.

Upon my return from the post office, I am spotted by a second grader.

Student #1: "Sara. It's March 7th. Did you get Harry Potter in the Goblin on Fire?"

Me: "Ummmmmmm... Yeah, Harry Potter came."

I deliver mail to teachers and we discuss Harry Potter in an adult, teacher-y way.

On my 3/4 mile walk home, I run a veritable gauntlet of young movie watcher wannabes who have scrambled down from snowpiles to get the scoop on this most important event. Apparently I have the only copy in town at the moment.

Student #2:"Hey, Sara. Did Harry Potter come?"

Me: *sigh* "Yes, it did."

Student #2: "Can I come over and watch it tonight?"

Me: "That would be a big fatty NO."

Student #2: "Why not?"

Me: *tries to think of a diplomatic, kid-friendly way of saying "because having a herd of third grade boys over at my house is NOT how I envision spending my non-teaching time, and you are, quite frankly, not the first person I'd choose to have near breakables"*

I walk on for a few minutes and come across a group of three boys (two fourth graders and a very small kindergartener).

Student #3: "Sara, did Harry Potter come?"

Me: *cringing* "Yes."

Student #4: "Can I borrow it?"

Me: "Tonight? I just got it."

Student #3: "Well, you can watch it with us." (right, yeah, that was TOTALLY my plan for the evening)

Kindergartener: "Harry Potter gots a MAGIC STICK!"

I returned home, to find two students had left messages asking about the movie. Another called while I was on the can (not taking my roommate's "Um, she's in the bathroom" as a reason to not ask "Can I talk to her?") wanting to come watch it with me.

It's the movie. I'm sure as hell not this popular on my own.

VICTORY IS MINE! Or maybe, VICTORY IS MY IMMUNE SYSTEM'S!

I got sick last week.

BUT... for the first time since coming to Alaska and starting my teachign career a year and a half (or... holy crap, where is this year going... a year and three quarters ago) ago, I was able to keep the illness from knocking me flat on my arse. They say that your fist two years of teaching are the worst while every illness the little snotty-nosed darlings bring in makes its way past your immune system, but I had my doubts as to the veracity of the claims that stated "It totally gets better after your first two years." Thus all those claims about the phenomenal immune systems of elementary school teachers.

Here's hoping... Being at some stage of illness ("coming down with something," "walking dead," "totally feeling better but still feeling a little stuffy/tired/hacking cough in my chest") 50% of the time got old really, really fast. This time around, I was stuffy and a little tired for a few days, then I (and here's the miraculous part) RECOVERED. Completely. Quickly. Without lingering symptoms.

Watch, someday I'll move someplace where the germs are totally different than Quinhagak germs and I'll be forced to go through the process all over again...

Sacrifice

So apparently I gave up sugar for Lent.

My friend Sara talked me into it.

I know what you're thinking... Smacca, aren't you a godless heathen? Nope. I must be Catholic... I give things up for Lent! Besides, some of us have wedding dresses to fit into... I figure this will put me one step farther away from looking like a big white lacy heifer on the big day.

*Sigh* 40 days is a long time.

I want a Butterfinger.

Ah, Memories

For some unknown reason, I started waxing nostalgic this evening. I started thinking about the strangest stuff. Good stuff, from childhood. I pulled a few lessons from these memories:

1. All parents should play a game called Giggles with their children. There are very few rules in the game of Giggles. It's a cross between tickling and professional wrestling. It goes as follows: Parent tickles child. Child tries to get away. Parent does not let child get away. Child shrieks as he/she is pulled back. I said there are FEW rules, but there are TWO rules: 1. No giggles near breakables, and 2. No giggles right after dinner; vomit is bad for the carpet.

2. It's not cruelty if your little sister asks, nay, BEGS to be dragged up the stairs in the bottom of a sleeping bag.

3. Water, Liquid Dial, toothpaste and shampoo mixed into an old film container does NOT make a "super cleaner" than can be used to wash hands, brush teeth, and wash hair. I know, I know, it seems like a good idea. But no need to try this for yourself; I did the research as a seven year-old... although I never got around to trying it on my hair. As a toothpaste, it fails on taste alone.

4. If you're going to go skinny dipping, DON'T let anyone take a picture of your bare self in an inflatable boat.

5. Sometimes it's better to do your own thing. While you may THINK that dressing up alike makes you cool, when that means wearing athletic shorts, tank tops, Rainbow Brite caps, and suede ankle boots, you're better off asserting your individuality.

6. Nothing beats an inflatable pool on a hot summer's day. Unless someone throws your aunt in and busts the sides. Then your sister cries because her pool is broken and the day kind of sucks.

7. If you eat your sister's birthday cookie while she is in the hospital with a concussion, she will keep bringing it up well into adulthood. So just resist the urge to mow down and save yourself years of whining.

8. If a boy sits next to you on the kindergarten bus and asks if you want to play with his He-Man dolls... er... action figures, RUN AWAY, because he's about to kiss you.

9. Ice cream is best if you stir it.

10. Used wrapping paper tubes make good light sabers. First, you go down into the basement and smack each other around with them. Then you sit in aforementioned basement and try to move stuff with your mind. It'll keep you busy and out of your parents' hair for a while.

*Sigh*

I am now officially done teaching for what could be a month.

My students will get no English Language Development class and I will be a cranky teacher (although calling me a teacher, "one who teaches," when I don't actually get to teach anything is a bit of a misnomer, I suppose).

Why? HAPPY FUN TESTING EXTRAVAGANZA OF THE LANGUAGE PROFICIENCY VARIETY!

Faaaaaaaaaaantastic.

FYI

It appears that we're having issues with our district e-mail, and we aren't receiving/sending e-mails out-of-district.

So, a recap:

1. Gmail can't be accessed from school
2. Work e-mail is not getting outside messages.

Want to talk to me? Pick up the phone!

Huzzah

Internet at home.

Now I can do crazy stuff that I can't do at school, like check my gmail account.

Happy Almost-March!

Fried Brains with a Side of Moron

Last night, at home (sans computer), I thought to myself, "Yeah, that'd make a great blog post."

I even remember thinking it.

But I can't remember what I was thinking about when I thought it.

There's one thing I remember, though... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD! Another year for Big Bad Bob.

Tin Can Gourmet #2

From my friend Stacy, a submission:

Oven Reindeer Stew
Only in bush Alaska do you get a chance to buy Santa’s helpers at the store…
(Note from Sara: Silly Stacy, the ELVES are the helpers, and I myself sincerely believe that eating elves is wrong... but you know, to each her own! I won't judge you.)

Ingredients:
Reindeer meat, 1-2 lbs. Cut into bite-sized chunks
One onion, cut into large chunks
2 cans tomato sauce
1 can tomato paste
2 cans broth (beef or chicken)
Seasonings (garlic salt, garlic pepper, any green stuff like oregano that you have around)
3-4 medium potatoes, bite sized chunks (wait to cut until just before use)
Canned mushrooms, un-drained (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 325.
2. Mix together tomato sauce, tomato paste and broth. Coat reindeer with this mixture. Add onion chunks.
3. Put the reindeer mixture in the bottom of the 9 x 13 pan.
4. Cover with foil.
5. Bake for 1 hour. Stir and return to oven.
6. Bake for 1 hour. Add potatoes and canned mushrooms. Stir and return to oven.
7. Bake for 1 – 1 1/2 hours longer.
8. Enjoy

Happy Presidents' Day

My students don't "get" Presidents' Day. We still have school, and they hardly even know what a president is. Did any of us, really, in first grade?

Anyway, another dandy conversation with the same first grade boys as the "Tomgirl" conversation---

Child #1: What's that say on today on the calendar?

Teacher: Presidents' day. Do any of you know what a president it?

Child #2: George Washington! We put a George Washington on our calendar in our class today!

Teacher: Good! George Washington was a president. Do you know what a president is?

*silence*

*crickets*

Teacher: Do you know how big Alaska is?

Children: *point to map* THAT BIG!

Teacher: Good, the president is the man in charge of Alaska, and Wisconsin, and Minnesota, and California, and New York City, and Hawaii, and all these other places. He's the boss of them all.

Child #2: And Eek too?

Child #4: And Quinhagak? And Bethel?

Teacher: Yes, those are in Alaska. The president is in charge of Alaska, so he's in charge of Quinhagak and Eek and Bethel. And today is Presidents' Day!

Child #3: What do we do on Presidents' Day?

Child #1: We go to Gym!

Teacher: *flapping jaw helplessly*

Child #2: And ELD! We go to ELD!

Child #4: And library. Today is library day.

Teacher: Anyhoo... let's look at the book we're going to read today. What kind of animals are those on the cover? GOOD! That's a mouse, and remember, when we have two of them, we don't say mouses... we say...

Child #1: RATS!

It's a wonder all teachers aren't rendered completely catatonic by the end of a standard work day.

I am not, Repeat NOT, in Minnesota

Weathered in (stuck) in the village. I'm going to miss one of my best friend's wedding. This SUCKS. Stupid warm weather.

To quote another teacher (a native woman): "You missed your chance to go down where the real Eskimo weather is!"

Because all our snow has melted. And Wisconsin's about to get slammed by a snowstorm.

Tin Can Gourmet #1

OK, it's time for what I hope will be at least a two-part series over the course of... well.. whenever I have something to share.

The scenario: You have no access to fresh vegetables, and store-bought meat is pretty expensive (although you have some). Plan some home-made meals. Basically, bush teachers, tundra-dwellers, assorted other creative culinary peeps, give me your best. The rules are as follows: None of this "I was in Bethel last weekend and picked up a boatload of fresh veggies" crap. We're talking frozen, canned, dried. Give me a good recipe. Onions and potatoes are OK to include in recipes because they can occasionally be found in village stores.

Tip #1: When using canned vegetables, your faucet is your friend. throw them in the strainer or colander and rinse off the icky juice they come in.

Recipe #1: Tomato-Corn-Black Bean soup
(Sorry, I'm not a "measurement" cooker. It's soup, anyway... it's not rocket science)

Ingredients:
Oil (really... you're in the bush... use what you have. I'm not going to specify)
1 onion, chopped
Some garlic from a jar
4 cans tomatoes, rinsed and chopped
1 or 2 cans black beans, rinsed
1 can corn, rinsed like there's no tomorrow
chicken or vegetable broth... more than you think; the rice will soak up a bunch
rice/quinoa/noodles (for the uninspired only)/other grain item

Directions:
1. Put oil in a pan. When the oil's hot, add the onions and garlic. Don't go nuts on the garlic. I know it's good, but you don't need to put that much garlic in EVERYTHING. Cook 'em 'til they're clear, not brown.
2. Add the onion/garlic mixture, broth, beans, tomatoes, and corn
3. Bring it to a boil, then turn it down and cover it to simmer. Cook it for a while.
4. If you're, you know, a GOOD cook (unlike my lazy-ass self), cook the rice separately and add it. If you're me, bring the whole mess back up to a boil and add the rice.
5. Cook it some more.
6. Stop cooking it.
7. Eat it.
8. This makes what can only be referred to as a buttload of soup, especially for one person. Invite your neighbors over. Or freeze it. Or, invite your friends over, then freeze the leftovers.

I also added some red hot sauce, just cuz I like it SPICY, but I can't imagine that most would like it.

ETA: I forgot... add dried cilantro and a couple bay leaves. Also, I made a very embarrassing grammatical error, so I fixed it.

FYI

It seems that perhaps our district's network has blocked Gmail because it now contains a "chat" feature. So if you're trying to send me an e-mail at that address, who knows when I'll get it...

Oh My

Sorry, this is too much fun to pass up: Church Sign Generator.

AlaskaPig

Me play trivia. Me no like baseball hour.

Mania!

Sometimes I get a little too into things.

Take last night, for example. After watching a work-related training video (On my own time! Unpaid! Witness my professional dedication!), I suddenly became inspired to create some good materials for my students. I just COULDN'T NOT DO IT! It had to be done! How could I deny them, for another day, this great stuff in my head?!

I'm not one to deny a good inspiration (or, OK, maybe I'm a little bit off), so I started working. Unfortunately, I started working at ten o'clock in the wind-howling evening. Three hours later, I had some good stuff to use, and a plan... but for Christ's sake, it was 1am.

I have some good stuff now, but I'm too tired to use it. Not that it particularly matters... On Fridays, I don't even see the group for which I worked so hard to make stuff!

I'm a nutcase.

Oh, Baby, That Felt so Good

Look! A felted purse! I'm so funny with my puns. Anyway... it was kinda hard to get my washing machine hot enough to felt it up good (they had to mess with our heat/hot water a while back), so it's a "somewhat felted" purse. But I still like it.

And it Felt Good.

Hell Hath No Wrath

For that past two weeks, it's been cold. I may have mentioned and/or whined about this a million times. But one thing was missing.

The wind. It was calm. This is not normal.

Yesterday the wind got her revenge. I was sitting in my windowless classroom when a coworker came in and said "Hey, you been outside?" I hadn't. I looked outside and saw trash and snow and dirt whirling around the playground. Hmm.

The walk home was interesting. Let's just say I made it without falling down and call it a victory. Once home, I listened to the shrieking and groaning and whistling and other assorted sounds made by the contact of the wind with my house.

I put in my earplugs and hit the sack. At some point during the night, I awoke (the earplugs had long since fallen out of my ears), to silence. The wind had blown itself out. All is quiet again.

Tomgirls

The following is plucked from a conversation I had with a class of first grade boys. Actually, as you'll see, the whole conversation was pretty passive on my part...

First Grader #1: "Right, Sara, if a girl plays with boy toys, she's a tomboy?"

Me: *not wanting to touch this one with a ten foot pole* "Um..."

First Grader #2: "Right? And if we play with girl toys, then we're tomgirls?"

Me: "Um..."

First Grader #1: "But my sister makes me play girl toys with her."

Me: *runs out of classroom weeping*

OK, so I didn't flee the school. But it's been a long week. I haven't been falling asleep very well, so I'm short on sleep, and I didn't have time to grab my cup of coffee this morning. An impromptu lesson on gender identity to a bunch of six and seven year-olds was just way beyond my capabilities.

Good News

Well, good news for me.

I saw a little streak of light on the eastern horizon at 8:00 this morning. It was little, and not too bright, but it was a streak of light nonetheless.

Whee!

Indoor Weekend

I hardly ventured outside at all this weekend. I'm not adverse to the cold (would I be living here if I were?), but getting bundled up is a lot of effort, so I mostly stayed inside, minus one excursion to attend a fest for a local elder who was turning 90 (or something close to it) years old.

What did I do with my weekend? This (the white one with zig-zags):

Sorry about the crappy coloring... the zig-zags are shiny, so with the flash you couldn't really see the mauve... I had to use the crappy non-flash version.

Brr

Forgive the off-centeredness. And the fuzziness. It was cold and my camera ran out of batteries literally five seconds after i took this picture.

Froze my Ass Off Taking This

Well, actually, my ass was fine. It was my fingers I nearly lost. Suffice it to say I don't have the greatest circulation on the planet.

Notice the lack of snow. Wish we'd get some more.

Hooray

Got my 4-wheeler started today. It'd been unstartable for three days... well actually, it was unstartable three days ago, but I was sick and didn't even TRY to coax it, so it got more unstartable, methinks. But a combination of a heavy blanket draped over it, a hair dryer running under the blanket, a few pushes of the primer button, a little pagan engine-starting dance, and some luck and she started right up. I'm not turning it off until I KNOW I'm done going anywhere for the day.

I heard a rumor that it's supposed to warm up tomorrow. It's still about -20 (according to my not-so-trustworthy thermometer), but the wind has slowed down, so I don't think the wind chill's anywhere near -60, which, really, is kinda nice.

Also in the "Hooray" category... I'm recovered from my mystery illness. Let me tell you, that was crappy. Wednesday night, I was feeling a little tickle in my throat and maybe a little tired, so I skipped out on staff gym night and went home. Once there, I could FEEL myself getting sick. Literally. My temp rose like three degrees in a really short time. Thursday I was miserable... or I would have been had I been conscious. All hail king Ny-Quil. Friday, my fever was down to 100, so I decided to work (it's only a half-day with the kids anyway, then a half day of planning/staff collaboration time). A certain wise friend with whom I happen to share a name tried to convince me to go home, but I stubbornly refused. I'll admit it now... Sara, you were right.

I'm now left with a slightly stuffy nose and a tiny little cough... but that's kind of the standard backdrop for me in the winter, so I think I'll get by just fine.

Cold as F*(&

-60 windchill or something.

Apparently it's a lot warmer up in Bethel... my little weather dealie on my FireFox says that t's -6. -6, my arse. I know -6, and this ain't no -6.

Our thermometer said -24 this morning, and while it's been about five degrees cold lately, -19 is still damn cold. I guess the wind chill down here on the coast is like -50 or -60, according to the neighbor with the fancy weather station thingy.

What a day to be sick.

Fighting the Crabbies

It's BITCHFEST time!

*whining mode on*

I couldn't fall asleep last night. As a result, I couldn't wake up this morning. When I went to start my 4-wheeler, it wouldn't start because it's 20 f-ing degrees below zero. It's 9am and I'm ready to call the day "over."

*whew* OK, I feel better having exorcised those demons.

Let the day begin!

Update, Sans Grammar

I'm tired and lazy and paragraphs are beyond my Monday capabilities:

• The mercury creeped up above zero today for the first time in a week. That is nice.
• Today is Martin Luther King, Jr Day. Not that I get a day off of work or anything, but, yeah, Go MLK. Good guy.
• Mondays suck.
• Volcanoes are cool, but also suck.
• Despite ordering them in SEPTEMBER, I still do not have scissors or gluesticks for my classroom. This angers me. Incurs my wrath, even (Jody, that's for you).
• Mondays can bite me.
• I need some new music recommendations. I haven't bought any new music in quite a while.
• Sleepy... need nap...
  

Fear is Fun

I was terrified of tornadoes and volcanoes as a kid. When I pictured a tornado in my mind, it had a face and brain and it was after me. I would hide under the covers so it couldn't see me. I also thought that a volcano could just randomly erupt anywhere, adding to my list of fears driving 30 miles north to Wausau, Wisconsin... I was CONVINCED that Rib Mountain (which isn't really a mountain, but that's what it's called) between Stevens Point and Wausau was really a volcano in disguise. I thought it was going to erupt and surprise us all.

For some reason, the things that scared the living sh!t out of me as a kid are the things I find insanely cool now that I'm (supposedly, that's the rumor at least) an adult.

Volcano Cam

Muahahaha

Diabolical Dream Device.

Cue That Volcano Song

You know the one... The song you think of when you think of a volcano erupting. Or maybe that's just me:

Duuuuuuuuuummmmm..... Duuuuuuuuuummmmm..... Duuuuuuuuuummmmm..... Dum DUM! (Boom Boom Boom Boom)

You Win Some, You Lose Some

My Martha Stewart phase continues.

I made a few more candles the other night. Wacky good fun. Melting, pouring, burning. What's not fun about any of those steps? Again, for a half-assed beginners attempt, they came out fairly well. Better than my first try, actually. One in the win column.

Then I noticed an empty Burt's Bees lip balm tin. It may or may not be empty because I left it in the pocket of a pair of pants, then washed them with hot water. I will neither confirm nor deny those allegations. Accusations of inappropriate laundry-doing aside, I thought "What the heck, as long as I'm melting shit and having fun doing it, I might as well try my hand at lip balm."

The ingredients seemed simple, according to the bottom of the tin... basically, natural beeswax (which I have some of), and various kinds of oil (my selection was slightly more limited, but really... isn't olive oil good for pretty much everything? Wouldn't it be good for lips?) and then whatever else you want to flavor it with. I poured, I mixed. Tiny amounts, of course. My lips aren't huge (I'm no Angelina Jolie) and neither is the Burt's Bees lip balm container.

It came out OK, I guess. I need to re-melt it and add more oil, though. So we'll call that a tie... a half victory.

Then... the frosting. I made brownies last night. Just out-of-the-box, boring brownies. I thought "Wow, these would be great with frosting." Having neither a can of frosting nor a recipe for frosting (and no internet by which to obtain one), and it being too late in the central time zone to call anyone for a recipe, I decided to, um... make something up. I had some cream cheese, and thought "Mmm... cream cheese frosting."

Well, apparently this cream cheese had been frozen at some point, because while it tasted fine, it was kind of dried out and crumbly. So while I got the frosting to TASTE all right, I never got a decent texture/consistency. One in the loss column.

So my Martha Stewart record is 1-1-1. Could be worse, I guess.

How Many Feet of Ladder Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

I don't know, I've never been good at estimation.
Note: See all the paper airplanes on the ground? Not my doing. Apparently the previous teacher let students throw paper airplanes up into the gigantic fan (see upper right in the pic) on my ceiling. I asked the maintenance guys to knock them down while they were up there changing the lights. Previous non-laddered attempts at dislodgement, including, but not limited to, both throwing chalkboard erasers at them and turning aforementioned fan on so high it shook and papers flew all over the place, had been unsuccessful. That table is also out of place. My classroom doesn't usually look so ghettofied.

The Name is Stewart, Martha Stewart

I made a candle last night... just a practice one, in a little jar I had lying around.

It's purdy. It's pink and smells good.

I need to find slower-burning wick, though.

My god I am a chick!

I'm a Movie I've Never Seen

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

SON OF A #*$&!

So on Friday, I addressed and stamped some "Christmas" (OK, "Happy New Year") cards and my Alaska Permanent Fund Dividend application. I had to wait on my verification of employment letter from the district office for my PFD, so I thought I'd just mail them all off together on Monday when I got my letter. Call me lazy, I don't care.

Then today, I read this.

I'm a measly day too late! I mean, OK, it's just a few cents that will no by means break my bank account.. But they're all stamped and everything already! Now I have to buy some of those stupid one-cent stamps, if our Post Office even has any.

Slow news day.

Those Wily 4 Year-olds

Four Year-Old Given Crap at Airport for Sharing a Name with Someone he Doesn't Know...

Wacky. Hope no one named Sara MacDonald takes up arms against the Government.

Me, by the Letters

ISTJ - "Trustee". Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time- honored institutions. Dependable. 11.6% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

Semester 2, Week 1, Nearly Complete

The countdown to summer vacation begins.

Can I get an A-MEN.

On a more fitness-related note, we started staff gym last night. I nearly killed myself trying to play half-basketball-court soccer using a volleyball and an indoor hockey goal. Nearly killed a student, too. OK, didn't kill him, but managed to bean him twice. The second one was his own fault, though... I OFFERED to take his place as goalie after he got nailed the first time, and he refused.

Pictures from Hawaii

"I, Melissa Leigh MacDonald, realize that I am just begging to be kicked in the behind."

Anyone fancy a swim?

Hey! There's a sister in that tree!

Pretty.

Christmas Card

Merry Christmas!
(A little late)

And the stockings were hung by the chimney with care...

Well, if by chimney you mean lanai railing overlooking the Pacific Ocean, then yeah, they were hung by the chimney. Either way, they were hung with care.

Oh, happy Festivus as well. Sorry I missed the airing of the grievances this year. I'll try harder next year.