First Year Teaching as a Rite of Passage

Seriously, folks, this is some tough shit. Every day consists of at least one little mini-panic attack. Just a small, internal one.

I've never done a more difficult job than this. I've had much, much more miserable jobs in my life (night shift at a Del Monte bean cannery, now THAT was miserable), but nothing has come even close to comparing to my first year as a teacher. Seasoned teachers have a bag o' tricks to reach into, lessons that worked last year to just pull out to work on whatever objective needs meeting. First year teachers have yet to build all of those ideas and materials. I know it's a matter of time, and that next year will be easier, and the year after that will be easier than the one before it, and so on and so on and so one, but first year teaching really does suck.

I see it as a rite of passage. So many teachers quit in the first few years, and now I totally see why. The first year is a mad swinging pendulum of ups and downs. A lesson goes great and I'm on top of the world. The next hour, things fall into chaos (or my idea of chaos, which is far less chaotic than most people's idea of chaos) and I'm questioning my choice of profession. If I make it, I'll be a damn good teacher. I'm sure a lot of people who quit teaching and move on to other professions might have been good teachers had they made it over the hump. Or... maybe they're the people who wouldn't have been any good, and they got weeded out. I really love this work, and have no plans to wash out.

Moderately funny story... our first- and second- year teaching staff is (until next week) made up of 100% single females, four out of five (including yours truly) under the age of 30. Apparantly one of the other schools in our district is in a similar but reversed situation... their young staff is overwhelmingly young and male. Apparently our principals were talking about "getting us together." I think they were mostly joking... But I gotta admit, a few eligible bachelors might increase "employee morale" a bit. It is a problem here... many teachers would be willing to stay, but choose to leave because romantic options are very limited in many of the villages. Interesting.

I'm still waiting for culture shock to set in. I know that the other new teacher is deep in the throes of it, and I'm still waiting. Maybe I'm slow in adjusting. Maybe I'm too dense for it to get to me. Maybe I experienced it and just didn't notice. Who knows? I'm "supposed" to, at some point, break down. Be totally blown away and uber-conscious of the differences between my own culture and that in which I'm living. It just hasn't happened yet.

On a positive note, I've lost five pounds since getting here, which is a major accomplishment since I've had little to no time for exercise.