So Apparently...

My dog is terrified of bicycles. Or, at least, he's terrified of my old Specialized Hard Rock. He won't walk past it, but instead tucks his tail between his legs and hides behind me.

What the hell?

Back in Wisconsin

Tired. Hot. Sweaty.

But back nonetheless.

ALERT! ALERT! ALERT!

So, I was perusing the Transportation Safety Administration's website, trying to figure out if I'm allowed nail clippers on the plane (I am... and I use them to cut yarn). I noticed the following important safety tip that I shall pass on to you, my faithful (and most likely incredibly bored) reader, courtesy of, and quoted directly from, the TSA:

*ahem*

"ALERT!

Babies should NEVER be left in an infant carrier while it goes through the X-ray machine."

Now, I know what you're thinking: 'But Smacca, how will I know if my baby is a terrorist hell-bent on airplane destruction if I don't have it x-rayed?'

Some things, dear reader, you just have to take on faith.

Seriously, People

Over 40 would-be summiters passed up a dying man on Mt Everest. They're focusing on the one guy, the double-amputee, just 'cuz he's gotten the most press coverage previously. But at least his team called someone. That's more than the people who passed before them did.

If you ever, ever, ever have a hobby/passion that allows you to pass up a dying person in the name of said hobby/passion... you're officially in too deep.

One could argue passing up a dying man if your own life were in danger... but passing up a dying man just so you can say you've summited Mt Everest? That, my friends, is f---ed up. Even if he WAS a lost cause, letting a man die alone, struggling for air, with no one at least going through the motions?

Seriously, people... it's a hobby. I know, it's a lifelong ambition, an $80,000 investment, blah blah blah. Grow a heart and cut the excuses. Either you choose to help out a fellow human in his most extreme hour of need, or you choose to put your own recreational ambition first. It's your choice, really... but if you choose the latter, don't be expecting an invite to dinner at my house, because I pick my friends more wisely than that, I'd like to think.

Like, Grody, to the MAX

Eggs.

*shudders*

I thought I'd cook eggs today.

*retches*

The eggs were within their expiration date.

*pukes-and-swallows*

So I thought I'd fry two up for breakfast/lunch.

*runs to door, hand over mouth*

I cracked the first one.

*cringes at memory*

It was decidedly not within its date.

*all-out vomits*

Seriously, that was gross.

Twist on an old Classic

Like snowball fights?

Wish they weren't so... clean?

Try... MUDBALL FIGHTS!

Tuesday's Walk

I saw some birds... no clue what kind. Not a bird expert. Sorry for the crappy angle, but the little bastards wouldn't turn around. I sat there for like two minutes, and apparently they just didn't want to look at me, and I didn't have my rubber boots on, so walking around to the other side of the ditch/pond was not an option. I actually saw tons of birds (this being the edge of a wildlife preserve and all), but most of 'em were in flight and very hard to photograph.

Two of the passengers on this pair of 4-wheelers (NO ONE here obeys the no-passenger recommendation on 4-wheelers... they're not recreation; they're transportation) were students of mine, and screamed "HI SARA! HI SARA! HI SARA!" as they zoomed past (at a child-safe speed). Those are not rocks in the water... that's dirty sea ice.



I saw green plant life! Moss, to be exact. And here I was thinking I'd leave on Saturday having seen no non-dormant plant life. Whee!



The mighty, towering trees of Quinhagak!

Science, Put to Use

Make that a rum and DIET Coke, please.

Please drink responsibly.

Midnight Sun(set)

Crappy picture... it's windy out and I just wanted to get it over and done with.

But yup. Midnight. Or just after it, according to my computer clock. Or just before it, according to my camera clock.

Huzzah for sunlight!

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

1. Lookie our new trench. Runs right by my (soon to be former) home.

2. Lookie our new snow.

Now, it was only about an inch of snow, and it's already being beaten down by some rain, but COME ON.

I'm about done with snow.

You know what sucks? I'm gonna get down to Wisconsin just in time for that crappy hot-and-humid action I so despise. I'm gonna COMPLETELY miss out on any semblance of spring as I know (and love) it. Snow to stifling heat... odds are that's what I get. But alas, I shall soldier on...

You know what? Packing SUCKS.

I'm Screwed

Airport authorities to look for signs of stress, bulky clothing

Seriously. I am ALWAYS stressed out when traveling beyond Bethel. 75% of the time I'm near tears. Traveling just frazzles me. They SAY the officials can differentiate between stressed travelers and those with something to hide, but still...

And they're going to look for people wearing bulky coats when it's warm out? FanTAStic. I arrived in and departed from Maui wearing/carrying a very inappropriately bulky down parka. Why? Not because I'm carrying a bomb... BECAUSE I LIVE IN ALASKA AND IT WAS DECEMBER.

Seriously, if these idiots detain me for being characteristically stressed out in my down parka and I end up being late for a flight... ah, who am I kidding? I'd probably just "yes sir" and "no sir" like a good little sheep and end up more stressed out and sweating in my unnecessary down parka.

Because I am, for all my online blowharding, a good little sheep.

Sick

Was sick. Vomiting sick.

Now recovering. Discovering that when sick, don't do dishes. Washing dishes.

Have also apparently lost ability to put subjects into my sentences.

8/23/1995 - 5/13/2006

Carl Abalama.

Evil grinner, fierce dodgeball competitor and all-around good kid.

I guess there's not much to say. I had him for an hour (or half-hour) a day for the past two school years. He always had something to say, and would have much preferred spending the entire hour telling me stories.

It's just... unreal.

Question for the Non-Nailbiters

So, I managed to quit biting my nails. I'm sure I'll start up again soon, as I always do, but for now, I have fingernails.

But I have a question for the long-term nail growers. I've been a nail biter since at least the age of 8, so I really just have no experience.

How the hell do you keep them looking clean? I mean, is this some sort of ongoing process? Seriously, I start out my day, after my shower, with nice, clean fingernails. By the end of the day, they've got stuff under 'em. Heck, by LUNCH, they're dirty. What the hell? Why does anyone even have nails if they're this much effort?

Seriously, if cleaning my nails is going to become just another useless task in my life, I'm just going to go back to biting them. If, unlike the rest of my body, they cannot be kept clean by a daily shower, they are not worth the effort. Just. Not. Worth. It.

So Basically

Stuff kinda sucks right now.

One of my students passed away. Hunting accident. 4th grader. First day of summer vacation.

I mean, come on. That's just not fair. I know, I know, life's not fair. That's where you take pigs and horses in the summer.

I guess it hasn't sunk in all the way yet. I'm still pretty... detached, all things considered.

5/13/06

Sad, sad day.

More later.

Cue the Music

Everyone under the age of 18 (with the exception of a few teachers' kids) has left the building.

Teachers have to come back tomorrow.

Then we're done.

Upon completion of tomorrow's work day, I'm planning on remaining in my PJs for 24 solid hours before I contemplate my next move, which will likely involve fishing.

Sometimes

Sometimes someone makes an inappropriate comment.

Maybe something racially slanderous. Not just "non-PC and honest and edgy," but downright rude.

And sometimes they say it to you in that "Hey, we're both white folks and we're the only ones in the room," tone of voice.

And sometimes maybe you stand there dumbfounded, not sure quite how to reply to this person who is, after all, a professional colleague.

And sometimes, afterwards, you think of the perfect comeback, and lament your slack-jawed gaping. And you (and by you, of course, I mean I) just keep hoping they say something again, because you have an intelligent, witty, and totally snappy comeback all saved up, and no moment of assholitude upon which to release it.

But you still wish you'd thought of it earlier.

Saturdays are School Days

OK, just today.

We missed a day a while back due to sketchy gas smell permeating the building, so today we're having our make-up day.

It's kinda nice... the high school is putting on a carnival for the little kids. I'd rather be at home sleeping, though.

Squeaks

I've written about him before.

He points out "the dick" on Curious George, he asks about tomboys and Presidents' Day and what not. He's a smart kid. We'll call him Squeaks because of his unique voice.

The other day, I was walking home, enjoying the fact that spring seems to have finally sprung. I see him in front of me, idly swinging and tossing an unknown object up into the air and catching it. It looked like these cool new football thingies the school got for Physical Education that are inside a sac with a long handle so you can just toss 'em around. I thought perhaps he had confiscated one for his own personal use.

"Squeaks, what are you tossing around?" I inquired innocently.

"Um, I'm just playing," he replied, hiding the item behind his back.

"Squeaks, what is that?"

"Um... it's a... um... I'm going over to MD's house to play." A skilled deflector he is not.

"WHAT IS IT?"

"Um... it's a... dead bird."

Ew.

I got a peek at aforementioned dead bird. This wasn't a freshly-killed specimen. My guess it was killed last fall, but never got claimed by its killer, and it sat frozen all winter, to be exposed by the spring thaw.

Then today, he says to me (and his entire class), "Sara! I know how to spell a bad word. F-U..."

I screamed, "NO!"

Cannot... Resist...

Must... post... dog... pics.

Of course, if a certain fiancee would provide me with more pictures, I'd have a better alternative. But... I like this picture, so it OK.

And yes, at some point, I will stop posting dog pics. But don't hold your breath... it might take me a while to run out of steam. I'm kinda infatuated at the moment. Worry not, I'll be getting my camera back from the high school journalism class soon, so I'll be inundating you with spring tundra pics. Maybe the main road will wash out again, like it did last year. That was totally fun and photo-worthy.

But back to my (OK, our) dog. He really couldn't be a whole lot cuter if he tried. I mean, sure... he could. But it would be difficult. Highly effortful.

I'm one of those obnoxious pet owners, aren't I?

Wait, don't answer that.

Nah, go ahead. I'm OK with it.

Go, Granny, Go

Still pimpin' after all these years.

Wow. Just... wow. I hope when I'm 104, I'm still able to pull in 30-something men.

And on a side note... 21 husbands? Is she some kind of geriatric Black Widow?

Introductions

Loki, meet everyone.

Everyone, meet Loki.

All acquainted? GOOD!

Seriously... I'm so very pumped to have a dog. I've wanted one for a while, but am glad I waited.

Now I just have to get back to Wisconsin so I can actually MEET him face-to-muzzle... but I'll take Shaun's word that he's cool. And... we're gonna love him a LOT, so that makes him a cool dog already.

Yay for dog!