Whoda Tunkit?

The internet doesn't know everything.

I've been into baking bread this year... or at least I've been TRYING to be into baking bread.

I've scoured the internet for a good wheat/white bread... and it's always come up missing something. Or they required things I don't have... online recipe-posters seem to have a thing for "let's see how cool and pretentious I can make my recipe!"

I found a wonderful recipe today. Guess where? ON THE SIDE OF THE WHEAT FLOUR BAG.

Simple. Yeast, water, sugar (a tiny bit), whole wheat flour, white flour, salt, tiny bit of olive oil. It's not rocket science, apparently. It's baking. My well-founded phobia is cured.

I'm eating it now. Wait, make that past tense. I just ate two slices. Have now moved on to trying to refrain from consuming a third.

I had a rough day. I deserve another slice... don't I?

*backing away from the bread*

*going to sleep*

And on a completely different topic: TGIF, motherf@#%ers.

Well I'll be Damned

Birth control for men may be on its way.

Think American men will ever be man enough to use it?

Political Side Note

I am, for the first time in my life, going to write my legislators and the president regarding this legislation:

Native American Languages Preservation Act of 2006 (Introduced in House)

Basically, it would support the creation and maintenance of Native Language programs in public schools. I happen to think that's a good thing.

Look at This

This afternoon, Shaun went to visit what will be...

*drumroll*

Our new dog!

Meet Loki (or that'll be his name once he's officially "ours"). Chocolate Lab.

Cutie, huh?

We think so.

But it's Just the Flu!

I recently read a book called The Great Influenza: The Epic Story of the Deadliest Plague in History, an account of the 1918 "Spanish Flu" (although it was probably American in origin, not Spanish) pandemic. The book itself was kind of a let-down... I was hoping for more of an on-the-ground description of what society went though, and it focused more on the "major players," that is, the scientists and other important folks who played a part. I don't remember any of their names and quite frankly did not care which one was a social outcast, which one blah blah blah... So, not what I was looking for, but all in all, pretty interesting.

(Side note: Why can't I read junk fiction like a normal twenty-something?)

Essentially, though, I came away with one thing: AN INCREDIBLE FEAR OF THE FLU.

Seriously, that's some scary shit.

Especially when you live in a place voted least likely to have access to Tamiflu (well, OK, so there wasn't a vote...).

Especially when the current strain is nicknamed "Bird Flu" for a damn good reason and you live on the edge of a wildlife refuge seasonally housing a gazillion migratory birds, and Asia ain't that far away, as the crow... er... duck flies.

Especially when you are a fairly healthy 20-something... a member of the group most likely to be killed by these strains of the flu since they essentially turn your very responsive immune system on hyperdrive and your body's response kills you.

Especially when your housemate has been vomiting for three days and you have a mild headache.

How do you spell "hypochondria?" How about "paranoia?" Or "illegal Mexican pharmacy?" Because according to a recent study, there ain't anywhere near enough antivirals in the US to deal with a serious influenza pandemic.

Ooooooh

I might have some fun news to share in a while.

Stay tuned, folks.

ETA: No, Sara R., I'm not preggers.

Congratulations, Catholic Church

Only a quarter of a century behind.

Cardinal: Condoms are 'Lesser Evil' vs AIDS

Of course, you still can't use one to prevent pregnancy. That would be just WRONG. What our planet totally needs is more babies.

It Happens

Shit, that is. The accumulation thereof.

No, this it not another honey bucket post.

I'm packing. For the first time in my life, I do NOT want to be pulling an all-nighter, finishing up my last-minute packing.

I've found that the list of "crap I own" has grown. My book collection, it seems, has been mating and reproducing in the night. My yarn has been having an all-out orgy.

I like to think I'm not a superficial, consumerist, I-am-what-I-own kind of person, but the boxes I'm accumulating speak for themselves...

RE: The Whole Duke LaCrosse Team Rape Thing

I won't comment on the case. I just want to clarify one thing.

LaCrosse is still a collegiate sport? LaCrosse is still a sport, at all? LaCrosse is anything more than a mid-sized college city in western Wisconsin?

I thought it had gone the way of Field Hockey: relegated to elementary school P.E. class and bad movies about unrealistic high school experiences (*cough*American Pie*cough*). Imagine my shock to find that it's still played by grown-ups (or by college students who are... well... legally grown-ups, anyway).

Learn somethin' new every day. In my 26 years of life experience encompassing three states, two universities, and many, many cases of beer, I have yet to meet a single person who plays LaCrosse... unless I've met some closet LaCrosse player who won't admit their true LaCrosse-playing nature. Apparently, however, there are at least enough players to field at least one team at Duke University, because they're in big, big trouble. Whoda thunk it?

Confused, so Confused

It's windy. It's cloudy. It's 17 degrees. It's also light until 10:30pm.

My body is so very confused.

Many of the migratory birds have returned from their more southerly wintering locations. Ptarmigan hunting has begun. Spring activities are happening.

And yet I don my winter coat every morning. And yet I have to warm up my 4-wheeler for the drive into work. And yet I wear boots... not puddle-splashing rubber boots, mind you... winter boots.

It would be so much more bearable if the sun would not taunt us so. "Look," it says, "I am shining excessively! I radiate warmth from 7am until 10:00 pm! I mess up your sleep schedule! And still you sit indoors! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I received three books from powells.com today. I have already finished one. Now, in my bill-paying adulthood, I understand why my mother complained about buying me Babysitters Club books when I was in fifth grade. Mom, you were right... buying a book that I'm just going to read in one night IS a waste of money. Not that it'll stop me. Everyone has their little addictions. But dammit, it's April 18th. I should be outside.

Apparently this is how the weather always used to be... but it hasn't been "normal" like this in quite a few years. So... yay?

Thanks for the Reminder

I just realized (with the help of a certain former Roomie who is visiting, and now stuck for the evening) that I never made my "announcement."

ANNOUNCEMENT: I am moving to a different village next year.

*End of Announcement*

Visitors

A friend (former coworker) visited last night. More are coming today. Whee!

Last year, I was perpetually asked if I was said visitor's sister. "No," I would reply, but the rumors persisted. We're both tall and white... we MUST be related!

Anyway, she's visiting. She came to school today.

The students mostly recognize her. A few, who never had her as a teacher, RECOGNIZE her but can't place her.

So they ask her, "Are you Sara's sister?"

But Really

It can stop snowing any day now.

I asked our kindergarten teacher when she thought it'd stop snowing. She responded, "When it's ready."

It did not give me hope.

Sometimes You Wanna Help

Location: My classroom.

Event: State Standardized Test

Question: Can't put it online, but the second part was "How do you know that is true?"

Student's answer, written in Big Scary Official Test Book That Goes to State People for Scoring: "I know because I'm smart."

*sigh*

It's a Necessity

Patience is a good thing in a teacher. It's a requirement, actually.

I have NO patience today. The moment I walked in the door, students started annoying me. I don't have the capability, it would seem, to respectfully but firmly correct their behavior. I have to work very, very hard to control my face lest I inadvertently shoot daggers with my eyes directly into the skulls of unforunate runners-in-the-hall.

Oh, and I got my standardized "Am I Smart Enough to be a Teacher?" test results today. Turns out, I am capable enough at bubble-filling to continue in the education field. I am capable enough at bubble-filling to get an idiotic "Certificate of Excellence" for placing in the top whatever percentage of test-takers... as if that somehow makes me a better teacher. Funny thing is... due to the inane complexities of the "Highly Qualified" system under No Child Left Behind, I had to take a test in an area (Elementary Education) outside my area of licensure/training (English as a Second Language). So... I passed a test that doesn't relate ONE TINY BIT to what I was trained to teach.

Somehow that makes me "Highly Qualified" as a K-8 classroom teacher, despite the fact that I do not hold a teaching license for a K-8 classroom. Now THAT was a good use of my money and time.

Note: I apologize for my horrific mood. Hopefully tomorrow I will be back to spouting sunshine and rainbows out of my arse as per usual.

Bring It!

Let's play trivia, Fast Eddie...

I Have Weird Friends

It's OK, though, because I too am weird.

They send me links like this.

If you find Silence of the Lambs icky, please don't clicky.

Do You Like Electricity?

Either we're behind the times up here, or ahead of them.

Rising fuel costs lead to power rationing in villages

Hope this isn't a warning of things to come elsewhere.

Standardized Testing

Standardized testing makes me want beer.

Not after school, to unwind. Right now.

I'm testing eight third graders, five of whom do not read or write in English. The task of to keep them on task for a 66-question test involving the reading of long passages is enough to drive one to drink.

Arg

Daylight Savings Time is a load of crap.

It now officially gets dark at 10pm. The abruptness was too much for my body to handle, and I was awake until 1am last night.

Is it naptime yet?