Oh, and by the way...

SCHOOL'S OUT!

Six

Six school days to go.

Each day seems to stretch to infinity.

Six times infinity is what?

Mania!

I have been bitten by the productiveness bug. After a winter of barely dragging myself through a minimum of chores, I have become one of those annoying always-picking-up people.

Well, at home, anyway. My desk at work still looks like a monster ate an elementary classroom and puked it all up.

The only problem with my current chore-mania is... well... Loki. He's a Labrador Retriever. If the Greeks had had Labs, Sisyphus may have been tasked with keeping my kitchen floor dog-hair free, rather than pushing that silly rock around for all eternity. Our poor Roomba (OOH! DID I MENTION WE GOT A ROOMBA?! I'm not a gadget-y person, but with Loki's prodigious shedding capabilities, we thought it was worth a shot)It makes me pine away for the vacu-suck hair-cutting device showcased on Wayne's World. Just the sucking part... wouldn't it be convenient to just vacuum out all his shedded hair? "It certainly does suck," indeed!

Fear not, fair readers, I will not be vacuuming the dog this evening. My mania has limits, and vacuuming the dog lies well outside of those limits.

Maybe.

Look, Ma, I'm Fishing!

So...

It's been a while, huh?

How is it May already? I've been swamped. Well, not swamped in the all-day-every-day busy kind of swamped, but whenever I'm at school, which is my internetting location, I'm busy. Henceforth and hitherto, no new blog posts in quite a while.

Hmm, a summary. We're planning to use up all our leftover scrap paper to make homemade paper (a way fun process) next week, my team took 10th place for Trivia (our first top 10 finish), the river is starting to break up (a friend's dog fell through the ice yesterday while we were out ice fishing), 17 school days remain until we're released for the summer, I've read a few good books lately, but nothing mind-blowing, and we finished our marriage prep at the Catholic church in Bethel. Each of these incidents COULD have been a separate post, but alas, that time has passed. Now is the time for brief summaries.

I'll post some ice fishing pics when I get them (they're on Shaun's computer right now)

You CAN go Home Again

Allow me to present a photographic summary of my trip to Quinhagak. For those in the unknow, Quinhagak is the village in which I taught last year and the previous year.

Funkypunk likes planes. Funkypunk was my travel buddy. Funkypunk is not this shadowy in real life. Funkpunk is merely a victim of poor photography and slothfulness when it comes to editing aforementioned sub-par photography.

Quinhagak is pretty much snow-free at this point. Nunapitchuk is not. This picture is also crappy. It's crooked. Again, too lazy to edit.

We saw two eagles at the beach! One flew away, and this one wouldn't let me get any closer before it, too, fled. I hopped over some seriously slimy, muddy beach ice just to get THIS close.

Ate several Easter meals with various groups of people. Not as many as Funkypunk, but she's more social than I am.

What's Easter without an egg hunt for the wee ones?

Quinhagak has this zany ability to be both dusty and muddy at the same time.

Overall, it was quite the good weekend. It was great to see old friends and students, and we even managed to come back with a few frozen trout, a gift from a friend. Good times were had by all.

Sweatin' to the Moldies, Static-style

It's really, really hot in our apartment right now. Or, anyway, it was this morning. You see, the heat went off last week, so it got fixed. However, it got TOO fixed. It was just 100% on. All-go-no-stop heat. We slept in the living room with the one open-able window open.

It's also moldy in our apartment right now. But really, It's been moldy all year, so that's not such a big deal. It's probably been moldy all decade, bare minimum. It's in the ceiling. Our house, if we don't air it out, takes on delicate nasal hues of musty goodness.

Don't let the musty smell fool you, though. The humidity hovered around 20% all winter. For one stretch there, Loki would squint a little when we went to pet him because he KNEW the shock was coming.

All in all, our apartment is a very special place. That is why I'm glad to announce we won't be living there next year. With a little poking and prodding and a goodly amount of luck, we've procured a much nicer house... one that was never, ever, in its entire existence, a Bureau of Indian Affairs school. No middle-aged adults will say, "Man, I remember having school there." It's just a house.

Hey Spring... Spring Already!

Who ordered the snow?

Sorry for the low quality of the photograph, but I was too lazy to put on a coat and I was being pelted with snow the whole time I took the picture.

A former colleague was reported missing out on the tundra last night, but rumor has it he's been found. So that's good. Hopefully rumor has it right.

As for me, I'm just patiently awaiting warmer temps.

Or maybe not-so patiently.

Awkward Announcement

So, I hesitate to even post this.

Mostly because I'm embarrassed that I even had to do it. Partly because I don't like to brag. But sometimes bragging is OK.

I've lost weight. I won't say how much and I won't say how much I have left, but I realized that I'd really been on a downward (well, upward, if we're talking about poundage) slide for the past few years and I did what I needed to do to correct it. I might even throw in a few short-distance triathlons this summer, but we'll see if I have the time. Right now the temp is hovering around zero and that kind of makes me lean in the stay-inside-and-do-inside-type-things direction for the time being.

So there you have it. There's less of me now.

But I'm still just as obnoxious.

Winter? Spring? None of the Above?

It's 9:30 and still light out. Daylight Savings Time has arrived. The sun was making plenty of progress into the evening hours on its own, but we had to go and help it out, didn't we? Wouldn't want to be going to bed in darkness for an extra couple weeks, would we?

As Jody commented (and she'd know better than I, being way ups in da nort'), it's a little crazy right now. The sun is returning. It LOOKS so nice out there! Alas, Pa Winter retains his grip on the temperatures, even if he has cut us some slack in the daylight department.

I'm Learnding!

Things I learned today:

-What to do about a snowmachine with a frozen gasline
-That sometimes new spark plugs can just be "duds"
-How to change a snowmachine drive belt
-That sitting for 45 minutes along the trail from Bethel to Nunapitchuk is kinda boring.

Yesterday, I went by snowmachine into Bethel for a doctor's appointment. FunkyPunk and I rode in, and she carried another teacher as a passenger. I spent the night last night because the weather looked iffy and the sun was starting to set by the time I was ready... and I was just feeling lazy. While she wanted to stay until Saturday, I was ready to head out Friday morning. I had visions of getting back to school by 10am and putting in pretty much a full school day.

After MUCH drama this morning (involving a frozen gas line, and the subsequent cab ride to and from the store to get gas line antifreeze, followed by an issue involving a spark plug change... even though the spark plug was new and fine), I got on my way about 11am. Like a good girl, I called my destination to let them know I was on my way, and to expect me in about an hour and a half. I gave myself extra time because I wasn't sure I'd find the trail out of Bethel easily. I found it on my first try.

So... I left Bethel, 26 miles of tundra trail in front of me. I enjoyed being out on the machine by myself for the first few miles. I was just riding along, minding my own business (and taking some sweet jumps, if I can quote Napoleon Dynamite), when I started hearing a funny noise.

"Self," I thought, "You should head back to Bethel. That doesn't sound good."

"But self," I whined back, "You are like 1/3 of the way there!"

"DO IT!" I mentally shouted at myself. "TURN BACK!"

Fiiiiiiiiine. I turned back. Or I tried... the moment I started slowing down, I heard a most distressing KERCHUNK, followed by the sound of my machine, um, not going. Hmm. Tried to start machine, knowing it to be futile. Bad noises and no starting. I freaked out for about 30 seconds (usually I'm rendered useless for at least an hour and a half by any semblance of stress), then realized that freaking out on the trail was maybe not the most healthy choice I could make.

I could still see the Bethel airport tower in the distance, so I wasn't out of town by more than 5 or 10 miles (I had a GPS with me, but didn't turn it on at this point, although I did move it to my inside pocket so it would be warmer and the batteries would last longer if I turned it on). People at my destination knew when to expect me. Also in my favor was the fact that I was on a fairly busy trail, and wearing two pairs of snowpants and two winter coats (my light one under my fluffy down one), but still... I was out on the tundra and the windchill was hovering around a balmy -30F, I think.

And so, I waited. Several planes flew over, but alas, no snowmachines happened by. I waited more. I paced back and forth. I sat on my backpack, sheltered from the wind by my snowmachine. I paced. I sat. I sang a little song. Either someone would happen by, or someone in Nunapitchuk would get worried about me and come looking. I hoped for the former, but would have happily settled for the latter.

After 45 minutes of worry and boredom, a nice man happened by. Also heading to Nunapitchuk, he is uncle to several of my students. He showed me how to change the belt that had broken (apparently a common thing in the world of snowmachines), and I got on my merry way.

I returned home around 1:45 (should have been home around 12:30 at the latest) to a worried fiancee and typically obnoxious Labrador Retriever.

Maybe next time I'll spend the night rather than coming back by myself. Live and learn, I guess.

Answer: Not a Damn One

Question: How many pictures did I take of the cool stuff that went on every afternoon this week in our school?

Honestly, I meant to. We're celebrating Lunar New Year as a school, and it was good fun. We made sushi in my classroom, which was both cool and messy. Kids were doing all sorts of projects in multi-age groups, rotating around from room to room, lah-dee-dah. I could have taken some really cool pictures, but I didn't.

I had one opportunity to take pictures. Yesterday, I got a break and thought, "I'm going to take this opportunity to snap some photos of what's going down!" The fates had other plans.

Dead, my camera battery was. Foiled, my plan for photographic domination was. Talking like Yoda, I am.

So use your imagination. Imagine ten Eskimo kids rolling sushi. Imagine them eating won ton soup. Imagine them making kites and masks and Chinese yo-yos. Work up a good mental image, because you won't be getting a digital one.

The Deification of Stacy

My friend Stacy is now officially a member of my personal pantheon of deities. She is now Stacius, Crunchy Goddess of Boxed Vegetables.

She sent me vegetables. A whole box of fresh vegetables. Or rather, she had them sent from the Lower 48, as her village is as woefully lacking in fresh produce as Nunapitchuk.

I was drooling at school just looking at the box, and have eaten more vegetables in the past two days than I have in the past month. And I have only begun to munch.

I've discovered one interesting thing so far... my dog really likes radish tops. Whodathunkit?

Dead Arm

I took a nap this afternoon.

Weekend naps are one of the great pleasures in life if you ask me. I love a good nap.

I woke up from this little siesta to a most distressing situation. My right arm, the arm with which I do pretty much everything, was dead. Not just asleep... totally without feeling, and all floppy. I had had it up over my head (our house has no doors, and our walls don't go all the way up to the ceiling, and Shaun was watching TV), and apparently cut off all contact between my arm and the rest of my body.

It was kinda cool, actually. It was totally limp and floppy. No feeling whatsoever.

Eventually, the feeling came back. Holy crap did that hurt.

Testing the fun out of Them

It's that time of year, boys and girls. L.E.P testing time! We have to test every L.E.P. (limited English Proficient) student at our school to determine whether their English proficiency is truly still limited. Great fun.

I'm currently testing first graders. I am their introduction to the fantastic world of bubble-filling, standardized test-taking, and "remain quietly in your seat if you finish early."

I kind of hate myself for that. First grade should be all about reading, adding, and Play Dough. Bubble filling takes the joy out of all three.*

I tested two exuberant, can't-keep-their-mouths-shut students this afternoon. Normally right on the brink of shouting out, when put in such a limiting situation, they step over the brink into the talking-out-of-turn oblivion beyond. My jaw sets itself in a grumpty frown, my eyebrows crinkle down over my eyes, and I give them the *LOOK*.

Of course, when faced with such unencumbered joy for hearing the sound of one's own voice, the *LOOK* is seldom enough. In an hour, I was forced to move one student to a corner desk all by himself, place a pencil in the hand of another student while pointing to her next unanswered question, and just generally pull out all my "mean teacher" tricks.

By the end of the hour, I was sick of the test, the students, and most of all myself. If I'm going to be the grumpy teacher, let me at least do it in the name of teaching them something.

Thank you and good night.**

*I'm not sure how bubble-filling takes the joy out of Play Dough, but I'm certain it must. It has unmeasurable first grade joy-stealing power that we can only begin to comprehend.
**It's not night yet, but it might be when you read this.

For CP

A certain person (who never updates HER blog because... oh, right, she doesn't have one) gave me a haughty "Ahem" while checking my blog, indicating that I was not nearly diligent enough in my updates.

And she may be right.

So here's an update. I'm in Kasigluk-Akiuk for basketball. The trail was very slushy riding over. Shaun got wet because he didn't wear snowpants. I ate two hotdogs for dinner, but I feel like that's OK since I never got a lunch today. I currently have bleacher butt, both from sitting on a bleacher, and from sitting on the floor after sitting on the bleacher.

Feeling in-touch with my life now? ;-)

I Think This Post's Mostly Filler

Just in case you weren't totally completely, irrevocably convinced that I am a gigantic nerdy moron with somewhat obsessive, overly-focused tendencies, I just want to clear things up.

I am.

My latest obsession? The musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Once More with Feeling."

The episode is not new to me. It was actually my introduction to the escapist world of Buffy. CP (currently my coworker and, back in the day, my roommate, and always the Goddess of All Things Pop Culture) introduced me to the show through the musical episode two years ago. It has recently come back into my life and I am grateful. Aforementioned CP has loaned me seasons 5-7 on DVD. Since I rarely watch TV on TV (or, rather, I can't be troubled to remember what day of the week things are on), TV on DVD comes in handy when my brain needs to be liquidated of thought for 45 minutes or so and an episode of Iron Chef: America just won't cut the mustard.

I have listened to the soundtrack twice tonight. I think Shaun is going to start throwing things soon should this blip turn into a long-term trend.

Someday I will have a "current favorite" that does not up my dork quotient.

Who am I kidding? No, I won't. Love me, love the fact that I will never, ever, in a million years be cool.

As Promised... NYE pics!

Therese clearly loves her country. ;)

Oh, so pretty... I'm the non-pretty one on the right. :D

Rides Like a Dream

The descent into Anchorage is always an experience. I don't know if it's the mountains-on-three-sides-water-on-the-other factor or what, but I don't think I've ever had a smooth ride into the Anchorage Bowl. Today was no exception. A nice finale to an otherwise less-than-emotionally-scarring flight.

Well, not emotionally scarring for everyone else. I am usually filled with such guilt at putting Loki on the plane that I have at least one nervous breakdown. Again, today (or yesterday, as it were) was no exception.

But getting beyond that, the ride was pretty pleasant. Shaun and I had a row to ourselves (we started out with a passenger on the aisle, but he hopped across aforementioned aisle because there was only one person there. So we had... An empty seat! Oh, joy of joys! Few things can bring more elation to the heart of a coach traveler than an empty seat. We stretched out, and slept probably two hours out of the six available to us... probably a new record for da bot' of us. We're not adept at plane-sleeping. A friend was on the flight, and she had some kind of tranqs... I'm not a use-drugs-to-cure-all kind of person, but she did look mighty relaxed. By relaxed I mean unconscious. It looked, to quote one of the great minds of American cartoon culture, freakin' sweet.

So that's that. I sit at Ted "The Internet is a Series of Tubes" Stevens Anchorage International Airport. It's 1am Alaska time, 4am Wisconsin-and-therefore-my-internal-clock time. My two hours of sleep was clearly excessive; I'm not sleepy at all.

OH! One more tiny little detail... we figured out where we're going to be getting hitched. We found a Catholic church that will marry us. We shall be tying the knot at St. Bart's in Mill Creek, WI. Should be a hoot. :D

Woah

Vacation winds to a close. Friday we head north, north, and more north (also west). Back to Alaska, back to the village, back to work. My wallet is lighter and my suitcases are heavier. Or they would be, were they packed, which they, of course, are not.

Am I leaving real life and going back up to fantasyland, or is it the other way around? Distinctions get a little fuzzy at 1am.