Hey Spring... Spring Already!

Who ordered the snow?

Sorry for the low quality of the photograph, but I was too lazy to put on a coat and I was being pelted with snow the whole time I took the picture.

A former colleague was reported missing out on the tundra last night, but rumor has it he's been found. So that's good. Hopefully rumor has it right.

As for me, I'm just patiently awaiting warmer temps.

Or maybe not-so patiently.

Awkward Announcement

So, I hesitate to even post this.

Mostly because I'm embarrassed that I even had to do it. Partly because I don't like to brag. But sometimes bragging is OK.

I've lost weight. I won't say how much and I won't say how much I have left, but I realized that I'd really been on a downward (well, upward, if we're talking about poundage) slide for the past few years and I did what I needed to do to correct it. I might even throw in a few short-distance triathlons this summer, but we'll see if I have the time. Right now the temp is hovering around zero and that kind of makes me lean in the stay-inside-and-do-inside-type-things direction for the time being.

So there you have it. There's less of me now.

But I'm still just as obnoxious.

Winter? Spring? None of the Above?

It's 9:30 and still light out. Daylight Savings Time has arrived. The sun was making plenty of progress into the evening hours on its own, but we had to go and help it out, didn't we? Wouldn't want to be going to bed in darkness for an extra couple weeks, would we?

As Jody commented (and she'd know better than I, being way ups in da nort'), it's a little crazy right now. The sun is returning. It LOOKS so nice out there! Alas, Pa Winter retains his grip on the temperatures, even if he has cut us some slack in the daylight department.

I'm Learnding!

Things I learned today:

-What to do about a snowmachine with a frozen gasline
-That sometimes new spark plugs can just be "duds"
-How to change a snowmachine drive belt
-That sitting for 45 minutes along the trail from Bethel to Nunapitchuk is kinda boring.

Yesterday, I went by snowmachine into Bethel for a doctor's appointment. FunkyPunk and I rode in, and she carried another teacher as a passenger. I spent the night last night because the weather looked iffy and the sun was starting to set by the time I was ready... and I was just feeling lazy. While she wanted to stay until Saturday, I was ready to head out Friday morning. I had visions of getting back to school by 10am and putting in pretty much a full school day.

After MUCH drama this morning (involving a frozen gas line, and the subsequent cab ride to and from the store to get gas line antifreeze, followed by an issue involving a spark plug change... even though the spark plug was new and fine), I got on my way about 11am. Like a good girl, I called my destination to let them know I was on my way, and to expect me in about an hour and a half. I gave myself extra time because I wasn't sure I'd find the trail out of Bethel easily. I found it on my first try.

So... I left Bethel, 26 miles of tundra trail in front of me. I enjoyed being out on the machine by myself for the first few miles. I was just riding along, minding my own business (and taking some sweet jumps, if I can quote Napoleon Dynamite), when I started hearing a funny noise.

"Self," I thought, "You should head back to Bethel. That doesn't sound good."

"But self," I whined back, "You are like 1/3 of the way there!"

"DO IT!" I mentally shouted at myself. "TURN BACK!"

Fiiiiiiiiine. I turned back. Or I tried... the moment I started slowing down, I heard a most distressing KERCHUNK, followed by the sound of my machine, um, not going. Hmm. Tried to start machine, knowing it to be futile. Bad noises and no starting. I freaked out for about 30 seconds (usually I'm rendered useless for at least an hour and a half by any semblance of stress), then realized that freaking out on the trail was maybe not the most healthy choice I could make.

I could still see the Bethel airport tower in the distance, so I wasn't out of town by more than 5 or 10 miles (I had a GPS with me, but didn't turn it on at this point, although I did move it to my inside pocket so it would be warmer and the batteries would last longer if I turned it on). People at my destination knew when to expect me. Also in my favor was the fact that I was on a fairly busy trail, and wearing two pairs of snowpants and two winter coats (my light one under my fluffy down one), but still... I was out on the tundra and the windchill was hovering around a balmy -30F, I think.

And so, I waited. Several planes flew over, but alas, no snowmachines happened by. I waited more. I paced back and forth. I sat on my backpack, sheltered from the wind by my snowmachine. I paced. I sat. I sang a little song. Either someone would happen by, or someone in Nunapitchuk would get worried about me and come looking. I hoped for the former, but would have happily settled for the latter.

After 45 minutes of worry and boredom, a nice man happened by. Also heading to Nunapitchuk, he is uncle to several of my students. He showed me how to change the belt that had broken (apparently a common thing in the world of snowmachines), and I got on my merry way.

I returned home around 1:45 (should have been home around 12:30 at the latest) to a worried fiancee and typically obnoxious Labrador Retriever.

Maybe next time I'll spend the night rather than coming back by myself. Live and learn, I guess.

Answer: Not a Damn One

Question: How many pictures did I take of the cool stuff that went on every afternoon this week in our school?

Honestly, I meant to. We're celebrating Lunar New Year as a school, and it was good fun. We made sushi in my classroom, which was both cool and messy. Kids were doing all sorts of projects in multi-age groups, rotating around from room to room, lah-dee-dah. I could have taken some really cool pictures, but I didn't.

I had one opportunity to take pictures. Yesterday, I got a break and thought, "I'm going to take this opportunity to snap some photos of what's going down!" The fates had other plans.

Dead, my camera battery was. Foiled, my plan for photographic domination was. Talking like Yoda, I am.

So use your imagination. Imagine ten Eskimo kids rolling sushi. Imagine them eating won ton soup. Imagine them making kites and masks and Chinese yo-yos. Work up a good mental image, because you won't be getting a digital one.

The Deification of Stacy

My friend Stacy is now officially a member of my personal pantheon of deities. She is now Stacius, Crunchy Goddess of Boxed Vegetables.

She sent me vegetables. A whole box of fresh vegetables. Or rather, she had them sent from the Lower 48, as her village is as woefully lacking in fresh produce as Nunapitchuk.

I was drooling at school just looking at the box, and have eaten more vegetables in the past two days than I have in the past month. And I have only begun to munch.

I've discovered one interesting thing so far... my dog really likes radish tops. Whodathunkit?

Dead Arm

I took a nap this afternoon.

Weekend naps are one of the great pleasures in life if you ask me. I love a good nap.

I woke up from this little siesta to a most distressing situation. My right arm, the arm with which I do pretty much everything, was dead. Not just asleep... totally without feeling, and all floppy. I had had it up over my head (our house has no doors, and our walls don't go all the way up to the ceiling, and Shaun was watching TV), and apparently cut off all contact between my arm and the rest of my body.

It was kinda cool, actually. It was totally limp and floppy. No feeling whatsoever.

Eventually, the feeling came back. Holy crap did that hurt.

Testing the fun out of Them

It's that time of year, boys and girls. L.E.P testing time! We have to test every L.E.P. (limited English Proficient) student at our school to determine whether their English proficiency is truly still limited. Great fun.

I'm currently testing first graders. I am their introduction to the fantastic world of bubble-filling, standardized test-taking, and "remain quietly in your seat if you finish early."

I kind of hate myself for that. First grade should be all about reading, adding, and Play Dough. Bubble filling takes the joy out of all three.*

I tested two exuberant, can't-keep-their-mouths-shut students this afternoon. Normally right on the brink of shouting out, when put in such a limiting situation, they step over the brink into the talking-out-of-turn oblivion beyond. My jaw sets itself in a grumpty frown, my eyebrows crinkle down over my eyes, and I give them the *LOOK*.

Of course, when faced with such unencumbered joy for hearing the sound of one's own voice, the *LOOK* is seldom enough. In an hour, I was forced to move one student to a corner desk all by himself, place a pencil in the hand of another student while pointing to her next unanswered question, and just generally pull out all my "mean teacher" tricks.

By the end of the hour, I was sick of the test, the students, and most of all myself. If I'm going to be the grumpy teacher, let me at least do it in the name of teaching them something.

Thank you and good night.**

*I'm not sure how bubble-filling takes the joy out of Play Dough, but I'm certain it must. It has unmeasurable first grade joy-stealing power that we can only begin to comprehend.
**It's not night yet, but it might be when you read this.

For CP

A certain person (who never updates HER blog because... oh, right, she doesn't have one) gave me a haughty "Ahem" while checking my blog, indicating that I was not nearly diligent enough in my updates.

And she may be right.

So here's an update. I'm in Kasigluk-Akiuk for basketball. The trail was very slushy riding over. Shaun got wet because he didn't wear snowpants. I ate two hotdogs for dinner, but I feel like that's OK since I never got a lunch today. I currently have bleacher butt, both from sitting on a bleacher, and from sitting on the floor after sitting on the bleacher.

Feeling in-touch with my life now? ;-)

I Think This Post's Mostly Filler

Just in case you weren't totally completely, irrevocably convinced that I am a gigantic nerdy moron with somewhat obsessive, overly-focused tendencies, I just want to clear things up.

I am.

My latest obsession? The musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Once More with Feeling."

The episode is not new to me. It was actually my introduction to the escapist world of Buffy. CP (currently my coworker and, back in the day, my roommate, and always the Goddess of All Things Pop Culture) introduced me to the show through the musical episode two years ago. It has recently come back into my life and I am grateful. Aforementioned CP has loaned me seasons 5-7 on DVD. Since I rarely watch TV on TV (or, rather, I can't be troubled to remember what day of the week things are on), TV on DVD comes in handy when my brain needs to be liquidated of thought for 45 minutes or so and an episode of Iron Chef: America just won't cut the mustard.

I have listened to the soundtrack twice tonight. I think Shaun is going to start throwing things soon should this blip turn into a long-term trend.

Someday I will have a "current favorite" that does not up my dork quotient.

Who am I kidding? No, I won't. Love me, love the fact that I will never, ever, in a million years be cool.

As Promised... NYE pics!

Therese clearly loves her country. ;)

Oh, so pretty... I'm the non-pretty one on the right. :D

Rides Like a Dream

The descent into Anchorage is always an experience. I don't know if it's the mountains-on-three-sides-water-on-the-other factor or what, but I don't think I've ever had a smooth ride into the Anchorage Bowl. Today was no exception. A nice finale to an otherwise less-than-emotionally-scarring flight.

Well, not emotionally scarring for everyone else. I am usually filled with such guilt at putting Loki on the plane that I have at least one nervous breakdown. Again, today (or yesterday, as it were) was no exception.

But getting beyond that, the ride was pretty pleasant. Shaun and I had a row to ourselves (we started out with a passenger on the aisle, but he hopped across aforementioned aisle because there was only one person there. So we had... An empty seat! Oh, joy of joys! Few things can bring more elation to the heart of a coach traveler than an empty seat. We stretched out, and slept probably two hours out of the six available to us... probably a new record for da bot' of us. We're not adept at plane-sleeping. A friend was on the flight, and she had some kind of tranqs... I'm not a use-drugs-to-cure-all kind of person, but she did look mighty relaxed. By relaxed I mean unconscious. It looked, to quote one of the great minds of American cartoon culture, freakin' sweet.

So that's that. I sit at Ted "The Internet is a Series of Tubes" Stevens Anchorage International Airport. It's 1am Alaska time, 4am Wisconsin-and-therefore-my-internal-clock time. My two hours of sleep was clearly excessive; I'm not sleepy at all.

OH! One more tiny little detail... we figured out where we're going to be getting hitched. We found a Catholic church that will marry us. We shall be tying the knot at St. Bart's in Mill Creek, WI. Should be a hoot. :D

Woah

Vacation winds to a close. Friday we head north, north, and more north (also west). Back to Alaska, back to the village, back to work. My wallet is lighter and my suitcases are heavier. Or they would be, were they packed, which they, of course, are not.

Am I leaving real life and going back up to fantasyland, or is it the other way around? Distinctions get a little fuzzy at 1am.

2007

"Here's to the New Year. May she be a damn sight better than the old one..."

I guess 2006 wasn't that bad. Can't complain, really. But there's something very hopeful about ringing in the new year. It hasn't yet been messed up by death, destruction, or other sundry calamity. There's always the possibility that this year will be the year in which humanity finally pulls its shit together. At 12am on 1/1, we haven't had the chance to mess things TOO badly. Hopefully this won't be the year we nuke ourselves into oblivion.

I'm not being morbid or fatalistic, honestly. I like the freshness of the new year. Infinite possibilities, good and bad.

I'll post party pics soon, I promise. There are some goodies.

The "I'M BACK!" Post, and Year in Review

I arrived safely at O'Hare, four hours behind schedule do to "technical difficulties" (read: water in electronic instrumentation prevents any take-off not deliberately designed to cause death and destruction). The trip was its usual steaming pile of joy, but I'll not speak of that.

We're nearing the end of 2006. And a fine year she was. Allow me a brief review. I'll give you the first sentence I published each month, just because my body has no clue what time it is, and I'm not feeling the least bit sleepy...

January: "And the stockings were hung by the chimney with care..."
Commentary: Dang, this time last year, I was in Hawaii.

February: "The following is plucked from a conversation I had with a class of first grade boys."
Commentary: First graders are cute.

March: "It appears that we're having issues with our district e-mail, and we aren't receiving/sending e-mails out-of-district."
Commentary: Sweet Jesus I live a boring, pathetic life. Is this the drivel I publish? Do you all hate me?

April: "Daylight Savings Time is a load of crap."
Commentary: I stand by this statement.

May: "Loki, meet everyone."
Commentary: That nutty dog has grown up so much since then!

June: "We took Loki (el Dog) swimming yesterday."
Commentary: I find my dog far too interesting, it would seem.

July: "I love our dog."
Commentary: I need a life.

August: "We're in Nunapitchuk."
Commentary: Indeed we were. For quite a while.

September: "Isn't it strange how you can know exactly what your faults/failings are and be completely powerless to fix them?"
Commentary: Yes, isn't it?

October: "PFD Time, that is."
Commentary: That is not a sentence, you grammatically-challenged, ape-brained waste of human protoplasm.

November: "It's getting cold."
Commentary: Wow, really? In ALASKA? I'm glad that I exist to document these unknown factoids and info-nuggets, because otherwise, how would the world know that it gets cold in Alaska in November?

December: "Yup, I'm still here."
Commentary: Or do I just think I'm still here? Is all of existence just an illusion?

SUSHI BABY

Yup, I'm pregnant with a big ol' sushi baby.

I made it out of the village along with a bunch of friends and coworkers. We checked into the hotel and made a new friend. She teaches in a nearby village that just happens to be in a different district. The Y-K Delta is cool like that... you can meet someone and just become their friend just because they happen to be there. Kinda like when you went on vacation as a child, and would just make friends with whatever kids your age happened to be hanging around the pool. Oh, you didn't do that? It was just my sisters and me? OK.

ANYHOO... We dragged newfound friend went to the VIP restaurant, a new feature in the town of Bethel. Bethel has been blessed and cursed with a plethora of restaurants. Blessed because there are a lot of them. Cursed because they all serve one of two menus, and neither are phenomenal. There's the Americanized Asian menu (they also serve burgers and fries), and the Americanized Greek/Italian menu. They're both adequate if you're in from the village for the weekend and haven't eaten a meal cooked by someone else in months, but don't really do anything for me in the culinary sense.

But now, oh now... there is the VIP restaurant. They serve REAL Korean and Japanese food, including SUSHI.

I ate sushi tonight.

I ate a lot of sushi.

My tummy rounded out to house my yummy little sushi baby.

Variables and a Rant

Variables. Should they all fall into place, I will be leaving Nunapitchuk tomorrow and arriving in Central Wisconsin on Saturday. One overnight at a hotel in Bethel, a three-segmented flight to Chicago, and a wonderful car ride will put me at my parents' house ust in time for Christmas Eve-Eve.

If the weather cooperates, and the airlines cooperate, and O'Hare cooperates (O'Hare is in its own class, as far as I'm concerned, because it is big and scary and in Chicago, which automatically ups its sketchiness quotient), I might just make it without bursting into tears. Then again, I might not. At least this flight isn't going through LAX, like my Hawaii flight did last year. That place is specifically designed to suck all the hopeful human feelings out of you and turn you into a dead-eyed, beaten down, bovine zombie. Yes, a cow of the living dead. A cow of the living dead who is afraid to ask the "customer service" representatives a question because they are scarier than your average homeless crazy dude.

Side note: Can you tell I've had a bad experience at Los Angeles International Airport? This is a rant almost exactly one year in the making. This negativity has been festering for quite a while... and it goes beyond LAX.

The only nice stranger I met at LAX was a cop. A LOS ANGELES POLICE OFFICER. These guys are not known for their sunshiny personalities, and he was the friendly, helpful one of all the people I met.

I'm just too small-town Midwestern, I think. I expect to be treated nicely unless I give cause for anything else. Human "default mode" should be set on nice, with bitch and asshole only coming out when called for. Don't give me attitude if it's not called for. If I'm being friendly and polite, they why the F$*k can't everyone else return the favor?!

*breathes into paper bag*

OK, so, yeah. Wish me good luck tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday.

Still Truckin' (Poste Moste Randome)

Yup, I'm still here.

I realize, I did a pretty good non-existence imitation there for a while, but rest assured, it was all an act.

Shaun and Loki left today for Wisconsin. All told, the trip will take them about 24 hours. I miss my boys, but I know that once the hellacious trip is completed, they'll both be having a fan-freaking-tastic time back in the land of Cheese and Beer.

Me? I'm just trying to get through the last week-and-a-half of school without blowing a mental gasket. It's more difficult than it sounds. Today I took one class out to take pictures to send to our new pen pals. Sounds easy, but it's not. The boys were... well... the only way to describe it is to say "bat-shit crazy," and that's not a term I just throw around carelessly. But we got some fun pictures of "important" village locations (I'll post a few later) and returned home frostbite-free, and with me only having had to shout at the top of my lungs three times.

At this point, my brain has kind of shut down. It's a good thing that I got some good routines established with my classes, because I'm pretty much running on auto-pilot at this point.

Pulled Back from the Brink

Yes, my computer has been brought back to life. I even got an OS upgrade in the process... and all my files still exist.

Huzzah!

I say huzzah way too much lately.

Snowromp Video!

Kudos to that fiancee of mine for taking the video... I was obviously too busy having fun.