Sunday, February 18, 2007

The Deification of Stacy

My friend Stacy is now officially a member of my personal pantheon of deities. She is now Stacius, Crunchy Goddess of Boxed Vegetables.

She sent me vegetables. A whole box of fresh vegetables. Or rather, she had them sent from the Lower 48, as her village is as woefully lacking in fresh produce as Nunapitchuk.

I was drooling at school just looking at the box, and have eaten more vegetables in the past two days than I have in the past month. And I have only begun to munch.

I've discovered one interesting thing so far... my dog really likes radish tops. Whodathunkit?

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Dead Arm

I took a nap this afternoon.

Weekend naps are one of the great pleasures in life if you ask me. I love a good nap.

I woke up from this little siesta to a most distressing situation. My right arm, the arm with which I do pretty much everything, was dead. Not just asleep... totally without feeling, and all floppy. I had had it up over my head (our house has no doors, and our walls don't go all the way up to the ceiling, and Shaun was watching TV), and apparently cut off all contact between my arm and the rest of my body.

It was kinda cool, actually. It was totally limp and floppy. No feeling whatsoever.

Eventually, the feeling came back. Holy crap did that hurt.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Testing the fun out of Them

It's that time of year, boys and girls. L.E.P testing time! We have to test every L.E.P. (limited English Proficient) student at our school to determine whether their English proficiency is truly still limited. Great fun.

I'm currently testing first graders. I am their introduction to the fantastic world of bubble-filling, standardized test-taking, and "remain quietly in your seat if you finish early."

I kind of hate myself for that. First grade should be all about reading, adding, and Play Dough. Bubble filling takes the joy out of all three.*

I tested two exuberant, can't-keep-their-mouths-shut students this afternoon. Normally right on the brink of shouting out, when put in such a limiting situation, they step over the brink into the talking-out-of-turn oblivion beyond. My jaw sets itself in a grumpty frown, my eyebrows crinkle down over my eyes, and I give them the *LOOK*.

Of course, when faced with such unencumbered joy for hearing the sound of one's own voice, the *LOOK* is seldom enough. In an hour, I was forced to move one student to a corner desk all by himself, place a pencil in the hand of another student while pointing to her next unanswered question, and just generally pull out all my "mean teacher" tricks.

By the end of the hour, I was sick of the test, the students, and most of all myself. If I'm going to be the grumpy teacher, let me at least do it in the name of teaching them something.

Thank you and good night.**

*I'm not sure how bubble-filling takes the joy out of Play Dough, but I'm certain it must. It has unmeasurable first grade joy-stealing power that we can only begin to comprehend.
**It's not night yet, but it might be when you read this.

Friday, February 02, 2007

For CP

A certain person (who never updates HER blog because... oh, right, she doesn't have one) gave me a haughty "Ahem" while checking my blog, indicating that I was not nearly diligent enough in my updates.

And she may be right.

So here's an update. I'm in Kasigluk-Akiuk for basketball. The trail was very slushy riding over. Shaun got wet because he didn't wear snowpants. I ate two hotdogs for dinner, but I feel like that's OK since I never got a lunch today. I currently have bleacher butt, both from sitting on a bleacher, and from sitting on the floor after sitting on the bleacher.

Feeling in-touch with my life now? ;-)

Sunday, January 21, 2007

I Think This Post's Mostly Filler

Just in case you weren't totally completely, irrevocably convinced that I am a gigantic nerdy moron with somewhat obsessive, overly-focused tendencies, I just want to clear things up.

I am.

My latest obsession? The musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Once More with Feeling."

The episode is not new to me. It was actually my introduction to the escapist world of Buffy. CP (currently my coworker and, back in the day, my roommate, and always the Goddess of All Things Pop Culture) introduced me to the show through the musical episode two years ago. It has recently come back into my life and I am grateful. Aforementioned CP has loaned me seasons 5-7 on DVD. Since I rarely watch TV on TV (or, rather, I can't be troubled to remember what day of the week things are on), TV on DVD comes in handy when my brain needs to be liquidated of thought for 45 minutes or so and an episode of Iron Chef: America just won't cut the mustard.

I have listened to the soundtrack twice tonight. I think Shaun is going to start throwing things soon should this blip turn into a long-term trend.

Someday I will have a "current favorite" that does not up my dork quotient.

Who am I kidding? No, I won't. Love me, love the fact that I will never, ever, in a million years be cool.

Monday, January 15, 2007

As Promised... NYE pics!


Therese clearly loves her country. ;)


Oh, so pretty... I'm the non-pretty one on the right. :D

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Rides Like a Dream

The descent into Anchorage is always an experience. I don't know if it's the mountains-on-three-sides-water-on-the-other factor or what, but I don't think I've ever had a smooth ride into the Anchorage Bowl. Today was no exception. A nice finale to an otherwise less-than-emotionally-scarring flight.

Well, not emotionally scarring for everyone else. I am usually filled with such guilt at putting Loki on the plane that I have at least one nervous breakdown. Again, today (or yesterday, as it were) was no exception.

But getting beyond that, the ride was pretty pleasant. Shaun and I had a row to ourselves (we started out with a passenger on the aisle, but he hopped across aforementioned aisle because there was only one person there. So we had... An empty seat! Oh, joy of joys! Few things can bring more elation to the heart of a coach traveler than an empty seat. We stretched out, and slept probably two hours out of the six available to us... probably a new record for da bot' of us. We're not adept at plane-sleeping. A friend was on the flight, and she had some kind of tranqs... I'm not a use-drugs-to-cure-all kind of person, but she did look mighty relaxed. By relaxed I mean unconscious. It looked, to quote one of the great minds of American cartoon culture, freakin' sweet.

So that's that. I sit at Ted "The Internet is a Series of Tubes" Stevens Anchorage International Airport. It's 1am Alaska time, 4am Wisconsin-and-therefore-my-internal-clock time. My two hours of sleep was clearly excessive; I'm not sleepy at all.

OH! One more tiny little detail... we figured out where we're going to be getting hitched. We found a Catholic church that will marry us. We shall be tying the knot at St. Bart's in Mill Creek, WI. Should be a hoot. :D

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Woah

Vacation winds to a close. Friday we head north, north, and more north (also west). Back to Alaska, back to the village, back to work. My wallet is lighter and my suitcases are heavier. Or they would be, were they packed, which they, of course, are not.

Am I leaving real life and going back up to fantasyland, or is it the other way around? Distinctions get a little fuzzy at 1am.

Monday, January 01, 2007

2007

"Here's to the New Year. May she be a damn sight better than the old one..."

I guess 2006 wasn't that bad. Can't complain, really. But there's something very hopeful about ringing in the new year. It hasn't yet been messed up by death, destruction, or other sundry calamity. There's always the possibility that this year will be the year in which humanity finally pulls its shit together. At 12am on 1/1, we haven't had the chance to mess things TOO badly. Hopefully this won't be the year we nuke ourselves into oblivion.

I'm not being morbid or fatalistic, honestly. I like the freshness of the new year. Infinite possibilities, good and bad.

I'll post party pics soon, I promise. There are some goodies.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

The "I'M BACK!" Post, and Year in Review

I arrived safely at O'Hare, four hours behind schedule do to "technical difficulties" (read: water in electronic instrumentation prevents any take-off not deliberately designed to cause death and destruction). The trip was its usual steaming pile of joy, but I'll not speak of that.

We're nearing the end of 2006. And a fine year she was. Allow me a brief review. I'll give you the first sentence I published each month, just because my body has no clue what time it is, and I'm not feeling the least bit sleepy...

January: "And the stockings were hung by the chimney with care..."
Commentary: Dang, this time last year, I was in Hawaii.

February: "The following is plucked from a conversation I had with a class of first grade boys."
Commentary: First graders are cute.

March: "It appears that we're having issues with our district e-mail, and we aren't receiving/sending e-mails out-of-district."
Commentary: Sweet Jesus I live a boring, pathetic life. Is this the drivel I publish? Do you all hate me?

April: "Daylight Savings Time is a load of crap."
Commentary: I stand by this statement.

May: "Loki, meet everyone."
Commentary: That nutty dog has grown up so much since then!

June: "We took Loki (el Dog) swimming yesterday."
Commentary: I find my dog far too interesting, it would seem.

July: "I love our dog."
Commentary: I need a life.

August: "We're in Nunapitchuk."
Commentary: Indeed we were. For quite a while.

September: "Isn't it strange how you can know exactly what your faults/failings are and be completely powerless to fix them?"
Commentary: Yes, isn't it?

October: "PFD Time, that is."
Commentary: That is not a sentence, you grammatically-challenged, ape-brained waste of human protoplasm.

November: "It's getting cold."
Commentary: Wow, really? In ALASKA? I'm glad that I exist to document these unknown factoids and info-nuggets, because otherwise, how would the world know that it gets cold in Alaska in November?

December: "Yup, I'm still here."
Commentary: Or do I just think I'm still here? Is all of existence just an illusion?

Thursday, December 21, 2006

SUSHI BABY

Yup, I'm pregnant with a big ol' sushi baby.

I made it out of the village along with a bunch of friends and coworkers. We checked into the hotel and made a new friend. She teaches in a nearby village that just happens to be in a different district. The Y-K Delta is cool like that... you can meet someone and just become their friend just because they happen to be there. Kinda like when you went on vacation as a child, and would just make friends with whatever kids your age happened to be hanging around the pool. Oh, you didn't do that? It was just my sisters and me? OK.

ANYHOO... We dragged newfound friend went to the VIP restaurant, a new feature in the town of Bethel. Bethel has been blessed and cursed with a plethora of restaurants. Blessed because there are a lot of them. Cursed because they all serve one of two menus, and neither are phenomenal. There's the Americanized Asian menu (they also serve burgers and fries), and the Americanized Greek/Italian menu. They're both adequate if you're in from the village for the weekend and haven't eaten a meal cooked by someone else in months, but don't really do anything for me in the culinary sense.

But now, oh now... there is the VIP restaurant. They serve REAL Korean and Japanese food, including SUSHI.

I ate sushi tonight.

I ate a lot of sushi.

My tummy rounded out to house my yummy little sushi baby.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Variables and a Rant

Variables. Should they all fall into place, I will be leaving Nunapitchuk tomorrow and arriving in Central Wisconsin on Saturday. One overnight at a hotel in Bethel, a three-segmented flight to Chicago, and a wonderful car ride will put me at my parents' house ust in time for Christmas Eve-Eve.

If the weather cooperates, and the airlines cooperate, and O'Hare cooperates (O'Hare is in its own class, as far as I'm concerned, because it is big and scary and in Chicago, which automatically ups its sketchiness quotient), I might just make it without bursting into tears. Then again, I might not. At least this flight isn't going through LAX, like my Hawaii flight did last year. That place is specifically designed to suck all the hopeful human feelings out of you and turn you into a dead-eyed, beaten down, bovine zombie. Yes, a cow of the living dead. A cow of the living dead who is afraid to ask the "customer service" representatives a question because they are scarier than your average homeless crazy dude.

Side note: Can you tell I've had a bad experience at Los Angeles International Airport? This is a rant almost exactly one year in the making. This negativity has been festering for quite a while... and it goes beyond LAX.

The only nice stranger I met at LAX was a cop. A LOS ANGELES POLICE OFFICER. These guys are not known for their sunshiny personalities, and he was the friendly, helpful one of all the people I met.

I'm just too small-town Midwestern, I think. I expect to be treated nicely unless I give cause for anything else. Human "default mode" should be set on nice, with bitch and asshole only coming out when called for. Don't give me attitude if it's not called for. If I'm being friendly and polite, they why the F$*k can't everyone else return the favor?!

*breathes into paper bag*

OK, so, yeah. Wish me good luck tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Still Truckin' (Poste Moste Randome)

Yup, I'm still here.

I realize, I did a pretty good non-existence imitation there for a while, but rest assured, it was all an act.

Shaun and Loki left today for Wisconsin. All told, the trip will take them about 24 hours. I miss my boys, but I know that once the hellacious trip is completed, they'll both be having a fan-freaking-tastic time back in the land of Cheese and Beer.

Me? I'm just trying to get through the last week-and-a-half of school without blowing a mental gasket. It's more difficult than it sounds. Today I took one class out to take pictures to send to our new pen pals. Sounds easy, but it's not. The boys were... well... the only way to describe it is to say "bat-shit crazy," and that's not a term I just throw around carelessly. But we got some fun pictures of "important" village locations (I'll post a few later) and returned home frostbite-free, and with me only having had to shout at the top of my lungs three times.

At this point, my brain has kind of shut down. It's a good thing that I got some good routines established with my classes, because I'm pretty much running on auto-pilot at this point.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Pulled Back from the Brink

Yes, my computer has been brought back to life. I even got an OS upgrade in the process... and all my files still exist.

Huzzah!

I say huzzah way too much lately.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Snowromp Video!

Kudos to that fiancee of mine for taking the video... I was obviously too busy having fun.

Frolic!


Ah, chasing snowballs. So fun. He'd do this all day if we let him.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

What I Bin' Doin'

Whole lotta nothing.

We ate Thanksgiving dinner with a bunch of coworkers on Thursday. It was fun... I like having a non-school reason to hang out with people. We hardly talked shop at all.

Friday happened, Saturday happened, both without any events meriting mention. Then... Sunday. I awoke at 9 with hopes of starting a load of laundry, but alas, the machine was taken. Not one to be dragged down, I got over that extreme let-down and started my day. I looked out the window, and lo and behold, it was a-snowing. Lots.

Noon... still snowing.

Three o'clock... still snowing. Received instant messages and e-mails from coworkers stranded in Bethel. All planes cancelled.

Five o'clock... yup, more white $#!+. Loki loves it. He romped several times today. Pics to follow, and maybe a video if it gets uploaded somewhere. He likes to chase snowballs. I also romped, although I find snowball-chasing slightly less amusing.

It's now ten minutes to ten o'clock in the evening, and the snow is still falling with gusto. The boardwalks have vanished.

Pictures tomorrow!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

But it's a Dry Heat

Something is wrong with our heat.

It's not broken, in the strictest sense of the word. Pipes haven't frozen, we aren't shivering, huddled under blankets and burning furniture for warmth.

Quite the opposite.

It seems our heat has lost its "off" mode. It's all go, all the time. We opened our one functioning window and put a fan in it, and managed to COOL our home down to a balmy 82. Then we foolishly shut aforementioned window when we went to bed. Fools, damn fools.

I awoke at 3am in a sweaty panic. I was can't-breathe-must-have-air hot. I ran into the living room, opened the window, and stuck my head all the way out. I then moved over to the thermostat to check out the thermo-stats. It was maxed out at 88 degrees.

I slept the rest of the night on the couch in front of the window.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Noooooooooooooooooo...

My hard drive on my trusty iBook G4 (OK, it's not mine, but the school district's... but it's been with me for the past two and a half years!) has been pronounced legally dead.

All my pics... gone.

All my music... gone.

All my old lesson plans... gone.

*Sigh* I was in the process of backing it up so it could be reimaged, but I never quite finished the job.

Alas, I carry on. Why do I feel naked without it?

Thursday, November 09, 2006

What is This "Teaching" You Speak Of?

It's Thursday, and we're finally having school. Freeze-up combined with the death of someone in the village kept our attendant population under 60% on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. This meant that I came to school every morning, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (or at least washed, which is a step in the right direction, I suppose), only to leave an hour and a half later when we confirmed that we had too few students to hold a legal day. Basically, an hour and a half of work that does not count as work. We have to make it up. Grr.

I had a lot of week-long lesson plans set, so I'm just going to scratch them and use them next week. I can't imagine the kids will be too focused today or tomorrow anyway.